Spilling the Eggs...then picking them up and making an omelet!

Feb 8, 2009
Spilling the Eggs...then picking them up and making an omelet!
Current mood:mellow

A long time ago, I wrote a blog (or two) about how I always put all my eggs in one basket. I may be getting older...but I'm still repeating that mistake. With the start of 2009, or actually a little before...I decided to make a bunch of changes. I thought "now is the time do everything I want/need to do". I started going to the gym again - every day, I picked up another job, I started dating again, started working on more home projects, started Weight Watchers, took on some bigger projects at work....and now here I am. At this very moment...I'm okay. But I gotta' say - the last couple weeks have been arduous to say the least.

When the year rolled over, a good friend of mine was concerned about all my plans. She said "when are you going to have any time for me?" :) Now, of course she was kidding but she also said "Why don't you just start with one of these things?" Of course in my mind I said "Why? I want all of these things - they're all good and healthy things to do....blah blah blah".

Okay. Maybe she was right BUT now I have started these things and am happy with the way they are all beginning. The Gym: I feel better. I did back off a little bit and am not going EVERY day now - but still at least 4 times a week. I feel good when I leave the gym, and I feel overall...healthier. Another job: No, I don't like having another job....BUT...times are tough and finances are a burden. I don't hate the job; doesn't pay well...at all...but it's something. And when I think about it...I should feel lucky to have the opportunity to have 2 jobs when so many others are losing their 1 right now. Dating: It's been a long time. Not always easy. Forgot how much fun it is dating a new person. Also forgot what a bummer it if that person has to leave (physically or metaphorically). Home Projects: Got the new light [finally] installed in the bathroom! Fixed the other light in the bathroom! Going to work on the living room moulding week after next. Fun? No, but I took long enough of a time out....and I'm going to feel good to see more progress! It's very gratifying to see everything I've done...and know that I've done it alone (or mostly). Weight Watchers: Down 7.8 lbs. Hope to be 10 by end of the week. We'll see. It's actually not difficult, but with the way things are going - it's frustrating to pay the fee every week, and also hard to leave my work at that same time each week. Projects at work: I guess this is where the breakdown was really coming into play. I'm leading managing a large project right now, as well as "DOING" 3 other big projects myself.

So...with the ups and downs of...emotions and physical and mental toll of everything listed....I felt it coming. Wednesday. I tried to utter the words "I need a vacation" to a friend of mine. It came out "I need a vaca" - and then I just lost it. That night I decided to relax some, and went up to a friends and watched a movie. It was nice and relaxing....then started to feel better....and did my taxes. HOLY HELL! Owing $1275 later, I sat here and thought about my situation. Then...I went and played some pool. Came home. Hit the sheets.
Today. A new day. A new outlook. Most of these things that I have started, I can't really stop at this point...nor do I want to. But instead of trying to rush into EVERY one of these full force....I just need to take some time each day for myself. I've accomplished a lot in about 4 weeks. And I gotta' say - I think it was on a pure adrenaline rush. Adrenaline rushes are scary. They are bound to end with a crash. SOOOO....I think things are going to start evening out here again soon. I've got one more busy week ahead of me....then I have the 15-18th off. I'm going to work on my moulding then. And then....scratch that off my list.
You know, it's getting late and I seem to have lost my focus in this blog. I hate when that happens because I've typed too much to just let it go to waste now. Argghhhhh.

I guess - I have to realize that while I have a lot on my plate now...it won't always be this way. Things get tough and you gotta' do what you gotta' do. Someday I will look back and say "Man, I'm so glad I don't have to work 2 jobs anymore" (I freaking hope so), and someday I'm going to get my house appraised and realize what my blood, sweat, and tears (and bruises and burns and slivers) have done for ME! Going to the gym always has its benefits. I can feel them in my pants (that's what she said - that's for you Julia). As for dating, we're all looking for the same thing - someone with whom you are compatibe, who you can't wait to see each day, and who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. I'm just going to have to retrain myself on the rules. If it's meant to be...it will be. But...I can't force something that inevitably isn't going to work, nor will I settle for something less than I deserve. I see a lot of couples doing that these days. It pays to be patient. And at work...I know this is my weakness. I don't ask for help. I do, do, do, until I snap. And it doesn't just benefit ME to ask for help. It's better for the department to cross train and gain a better knowledge of what each individual is doing, and how we can learn to network and help each other, and overall is better for the company.

So - with that said...I will slow down a bit, be patient, ask for help when I need it, and stay positive knowing that someday I can look back on these things and smile knowing I did it. I just have to do it the right way.

Man, this was one long rambly blog....wish I would have started it earlier when I was more alert....wouldn't have have been so scatterbrained then. Oh well. For anyone who actually finished reading...thank you and good night.