Overanalyzing

May 24, 2006
Overanalyzing
Current mood:creative

Jon L was the first to tell me that I overanalyze everything...years ago he began telling me this. Well it turns out, yes folks, I am my mother's daughter. I do overanalyze. Just a little over a year ago I got my new position at work BECAUSE I overanalyze things...and you have to in my job. So today I realized this: Overanalyzing = being ready for anything...and I was content with that...but then I realized "WAIT! But being ready for anything = paranoia!" If I hadn't overanalyzed I never would have come to that conclusion. And to whomever is laughing out there - Thank you, I appreciate that you find me funny....but at the same time I am very serious and stressing myself out all the time! Now, as females we have a chip in our brain that alerts us when to think "what does he/she mean by that?" Maybe we don't always say it, but we think it. When sometimes it needs to just be.....Just Be. (thanks Calvin Klein). Someone said something recently to me...said a few things actually that couldn't have made me happier. And for a couple days I was really kind of "on air" thinking about it. Then I started wondering "maybe he's thinking that I'm thinking too much of it" Then I started thinking "well...maybe he doesn't even remember saying these things (Jag'll do it)". Then I started thinking "If you say it while you're drunk..does it count? Is it somewhere in there in your subconcious?" [some answers to that question would be appreciated] Then I started bummin a little. THEN. Another overanalyzing analagy. It's like opening a present. You open it and you're surprised and happy about the gift you got! You fold it up nicely and put it back in the box, and you look at it a few more times cause you love it. Then after a while...the effect is gone and it's nothing more than a sweater. Having said all this now, I know that I need to set this blog for "friends only" because if he stumbles across it....he'll find out how truly crazy I am. This guy shot high on my friends list (real friends...not the list that appears on myspace...jeez) right away when I met a year ago, I adore him, I think he is an amazingly "real" person, he can't smile without a twinkle, he can't lie without a give-away smile, he's genuine and I'm very comfortable with him. But I'm not comfortable with myself. And this is the root of my own fight.