Moments that Take you by Surprise

Jul 5, 2007
Moments that Take You by Surprise
Current mood:peaceful

We've all had them. Those moments that bring you to a certain time in your life. Whether it be a song, a scent, a voice, or sometimes something that you can't even define. Have you ever had one of these moments so strong it almost makes you sick? I get these a lot...not bad ones, but they're strong. Today I had 2. One of them was when I walked into someone's office and immediately I pictured myself 14 and in Florida. It was the smell of my aunt's perfume. I remember one time when Jon and I were together, and out of no where he got up and ran to the bathroom. I asked what happened and he said "it's not you". It was pretty awkward because we were the only ones in the room and just out of nowhere he bolted. Then he said it was one of these moments. I never asked him to explain it because it obviously botherd him. I don't know if it was - it could have been anything. A smell, my voice, the way I turned my head - memories trigger from strange things. Whatever it was, he obviously didn't want to talk about. I often times remember being in the 5th grade and waiting for the school bus - I even remember the outfit (coolots were in then - spelling??) when I smell spring air after the rain.

Today was a weird one. I was listening to the radio on my way home. And I've been REALLY good the last couple weeks. And "When September Ends" by GreenDay was on. I literally felt like I was going to have to pull over and vomit. Not because of anything bad - it just - it's almost like an out of body experience. I could picture myself like it was yesterday, at the gym last summer on the elliptical listening to that song. When I was at the gym, I thought "This song is sad, but it doesn't make ME sad." I was at a point then where I didn't have to wait for a month (like depressing novembers) to end. I remember being at that gym, listening to that song, and being so thankful that my life was so good and that I didn't have to feel like the lyrics anymore. This blog is not meant to be depressing at all - but it just rails me how STRONG and VIVID a memory could be. I haven't heard that song in....I'd say maybe 9 or 10 mos. And as soon as I did, I saw that person that used to be me - so vivid - and...yet that wasn't me anymore...but it was me then...I don't know how to explain it.

Does anyone else have memories that do this to them? Sometimes it may be as small as the way someone smiles - it's almost like deja vu.

We went to the Roger Waters concert (again) on Saturday. I'm not a crier at concerts but I love Pink Floyd so much, and to experience something like this at my age - when I was too young to see them in their prime - it's surreal.

Last year I shed a tear or two because I was so happy to be there. This year I shed a lot of tears. I was so happy to be there but things had changed so much. I missed Julia. I missed that she wasn't there, and when "Mother" played I remembered all the times we used to have. I thought of Pat and David and how the times have changed so much since we used to hang for their jam sessions at the house of entertainment. I cried because Jon wasn't there, and I knew how bad he wanted to go last year and I didn't invite him, and I would have invited him this year in a heartbeat. I missed the simpler times. Don't get me wrong - we had a GREAT time at the concert and being broke right now is worth every penny of it. I'm just on a writing frenzy about memories. Any you'd like to share?

Cheers.