Going Toward the Light!
I've been really struggling throughout the winter w/ my bills, taxes, and just finances in general. Just when I saw the light at the end of the tunnel and said "Wow - by April 10th, everything will be good again!", I got a $470 bill. Then just when I said "Okay but then, wow! By May 8th I will be all caught up" then I hit a snag with my taxes. Now today I got hit with ANOTHER $422 bill - which I'm hoping I can actually get removed if I play my cards right. But DAMN! Everytime I see that light at the end of the tunnel, someone spins me around and tries to push me in the other direction!!!! I NEED TO GET TO THAT LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!
But I realize though that I've made some pretty good sacrafices - and am continuing to do so.
I quit getting my nails done. I love having them done - it's one of those "treat yourself" things. But at $40-60 a month....Can't do it. I miss it....it's been....5 months.
Carpool. Doesn't always work out - but Stephanie and I try to alternate weeks for driving to work. It helps a ton.
Picked up a second job. Does not pay well AT ALL!!! But for now, at least it's a little cushion.
Spreadsheet: I have a spreadsheet where I track literally every cent that I spend - and what I spend it on. From my mortgage pmt to the .50 Diet Cokes I drink at work every day. It's amazing to see all the unnecessary expenses that I was oblivious too.
Bars: Sometimes I may still get a little crazy, but overall....I don't spend much (NOTHING LIKE I DID LAST YEAR) on going out. I go to Horseshoes almost every Friday night now if I'm looking for something fun to do. $1 taps and .50 pool. Can't go wrong.
Groceries: I'm slummin it. I'm actually buying regularly at the Save-A-Lot. But you know - today I got 4 bags of groceries (plastic) - and only spent $39.16. It isn't a classy place but there are some great deals. Still have to go to the regular grocery stores for some certain things....but not much!
Cooking in bulk: I'm trying to cook 4 or 5 servings at a time...and freeze. It's much easier to grab from the freezer for lunches before work, than it is to prepare something or give up and go out for lunch.
Credit Cards. A couple months ago, I cut up a couple credit cards. It's helped a ton - amazing how fast the balances drop when you don't use them! Tonight....I cut up another. This one was a tough one....but it NEEDED to be done.
I know it's gonna' get better.....it's sooo close! I'm so damn close - it's literally "2 steps forward, 1 back" and I don't want those backwards steps! I can see that light at the end of the tunnel, but I'm running out of breath trying to chase it!!! *sigh*. But I will do it. I need to keep realizing that - 3 months ago I was in tears thinking "what am I going to do??! I can't live like this" to "only a few more weeks to go, and I'll be alright". That's a pretty giant step in a short amount of time. I know it won't be like this forever. And once I'm caught up here....my remaining balances on things can get lowered faster. For that I am excited, and for that I will remain optimistic and keep striving. I'm so close. It's gonna be a tight month - maybe even 2 months - but it's worth it. So if I am canceling any plans in the near future, or not up for doing dinner/drinks/movies/whatever....don't forget about me. Just understand I need to be disciplined and get this done. Striving for the light!
Sunday, April 3, 2011
3 years past, 3 years future
3 years past 3 years future
February was a terrible month for me this year. Seasonal Affective Disorder hit hard!!! Well...it wasn't completely the weather. One day I had a surprise breakdown in the breakroom at work with a coworker. It started with me saying "I need a vacation" and then next thing I knew I had completely burst into tears. Was it work related...not really. It was just so many things going on where I COULDN'T work - I cried multiple times a day at my desk and I have NEVER been this way. I said to my friend, "I'm in a complete opposite place from where I was last year at this time. Last year I didn't know who I was or what I wanted, and I just partied my ass off. This year I know who I am, I know what I want and I can't have anything" - it sounded dramatic but I really was in a bad place. I was trying so hard to get where I wanted to be and I just road block after road block. My friend said to me "yes, but look at how far you've come in that one year and think about where you will be in another year". It was a great point. And things have gotten much better. I did take a little time off to myself and just kind of breathe for a while. That helped, and now the snow is gone and the sun is coming out and outdoor activities are starting again, so I'm doing well.
I started thinking about my friend's statement again today. I started thinking about what has happened in the last 3 years....and where I'd like to be in the next 3 years.
So...in the last 3 years...what a ride. 3 years ago, I still had my same job, but I only knew about 20% of what I know now. I had ended a relationship that needed to end, but remained friends. Jon was a best friend, a mentor, he was truly my every day . I became an aunti to my best firiend's child. I became an aunti to my brother's child. I bought my house. I did. All by myself. A few days later Jon passed away. Who cared about a house at that point? Who cared about anything? That was without a doubt, the hardest thing I have ever been through....it didn't last a day, it didn't last a month...how long did it last? I'll tell you when it's over. But I dealt. Even though all I wanted to do was go to work, come home and go to bed...I jumped back into the game and graduated from college. I took on new projects at my work, I started some remodel projects at home (I'll let you know when that's over too - hahaha!), I went to NC to be my best friend's maid of honor. My work sent me to Portland (just for a day) but I was flattered to be asked, I met SO many new friends that I'm thankful for in so many ways. I went to Salt Lake and visited my grandmother whom I have not heard from in....about 7 or 8 years, I went to New York....I really came a long way and crammed in a lot of things. When I look back on that, especially through the hardest part, I am amazed at how I pulled through and the things I have done.
Now to look ahead to the next few years.
Three years from now. 2012. Wow. I would like to have the house to myself in 3 years. Let me rephrase that. I would like to be able to comfortably afford my house to myself in 3 years. I love my roommates - they are fantastic. But I am excited to make a little office and have the spare room set up for guests. Not anytime soon though - so Tom if you are reading this - don't you leave me! :) I would like to have a new title at my work. Maybe I won't be in Duluth - I don't know. I've given myself a year to find out if I still feel the need to wander. I will have taken at least one road trip - that will take place in the next few months. :) I will have replaced the windows in the bedrooms, you know what? Just now I'm realizing that I don't want to make these plans. When I looked back on the previous 3 years, I was very happy to see what I had done....not what I didn't do. Maybe that's a better way to look at. Strive forward, but look back!!! Yep. I think I like this.
Okay, so apparently this blog took an entirely different turn from its original destination, but...I think I like where it's taking me.
February was a terrible month for me this year. Seasonal Affective Disorder hit hard!!! Well...it wasn't completely the weather. One day I had a surprise breakdown in the breakroom at work with a coworker. It started with me saying "I need a vacation" and then next thing I knew I had completely burst into tears. Was it work related...not really. It was just so many things going on where I COULDN'T work - I cried multiple times a day at my desk and I have NEVER been this way. I said to my friend, "I'm in a complete opposite place from where I was last year at this time. Last year I didn't know who I was or what I wanted, and I just partied my ass off. This year I know who I am, I know what I want and I can't have anything" - it sounded dramatic but I really was in a bad place. I was trying so hard to get where I wanted to be and I just road block after road block. My friend said to me "yes, but look at how far you've come in that one year and think about where you will be in another year". It was a great point. And things have gotten much better. I did take a little time off to myself and just kind of breathe for a while. That helped, and now the snow is gone and the sun is coming out and outdoor activities are starting again, so I'm doing well.
I started thinking about my friend's statement again today. I started thinking about what has happened in the last 3 years....and where I'd like to be in the next 3 years.
So...in the last 3 years...what a ride. 3 years ago, I still had my same job, but I only knew about 20% of what I know now. I had ended a relationship that needed to end, but remained friends. Jon was a best friend, a mentor, he was truly my every day . I became an aunti to my best firiend's child. I became an aunti to my brother's child. I bought my house. I did. All by myself. A few days later Jon passed away. Who cared about a house at that point? Who cared about anything? That was without a doubt, the hardest thing I have ever been through....it didn't last a day, it didn't last a month...how long did it last? I'll tell you when it's over. But I dealt. Even though all I wanted to do was go to work, come home and go to bed...I jumped back into the game and graduated from college. I took on new projects at my work, I started some remodel projects at home (I'll let you know when that's over too - hahaha!), I went to NC to be my best friend's maid of honor. My work sent me to Portland (just for a day) but I was flattered to be asked, I met SO many new friends that I'm thankful for in so many ways. I went to Salt Lake and visited my grandmother whom I have not heard from in....about 7 or 8 years, I went to New York....I really came a long way and crammed in a lot of things. When I look back on that, especially through the hardest part, I am amazed at how I pulled through and the things I have done.
Now to look ahead to the next few years.
Three years from now. 2012. Wow. I would like to have the house to myself in 3 years. Let me rephrase that. I would like to be able to comfortably afford my house to myself in 3 years. I love my roommates - they are fantastic. But I am excited to make a little office and have the spare room set up for guests. Not anytime soon though - so Tom if you are reading this - don't you leave me! :) I would like to have a new title at my work. Maybe I won't be in Duluth - I don't know. I've given myself a year to find out if I still feel the need to wander. I will have taken at least one road trip - that will take place in the next few months. :) I will have replaced the windows in the bedrooms, you know what? Just now I'm realizing that I don't want to make these plans. When I looked back on the previous 3 years, I was very happy to see what I had done....not what I didn't do. Maybe that's a better way to look at. Strive forward, but look back!!! Yep. I think I like this.
Okay, so apparently this blog took an entirely different turn from its original destination, but...I think I like where it's taking me.
Doing Something More (March 25 2009)
Doing Something More
Doing Something More
Well...I can't figure out how to get these to post to facebook yet, and maybe I won't figure it out. But I need to write anyway. I haven't written in a long time and I can feel it. Writing is the best release for me...I like when others read my posts, but even if they don't...it's never a waste to free the mind for a while.
Before I begin, I have to say..."SAW" is on TV right now and my neck literally hurts because I'm kinked in such a way so I DO NOT have to see any of it...and am disturbed that there are 3 people on my couch right now who seem to be really into it.
On to Something More. I don't know know what's happened lately...possibly it's a combination of events. But I do feel like I need to do something more with my life. Do not get me wrong, I am very happy where I am...but something has to change. I'm in a routine. Routine = stability (as I kind of give a "yeah right" giggle) but Routine also = Boredom. For the last couple months I have researched new career opportunities, new places to live, and have had baby fever. Then I realized the following:
Career: I love my job. I have been there for 5 years and I am learning more new things every single day. I have a great bunch of co-workers, and while it's no Doctor's salary...it's definitely acceptable. So why was I freaking out? Well...kind of because of my other thoughts for life's path. The economy is a burden for all of us right now...so I thought "I need to be in a field where I can make even more money"....as time went on, I wised up and realized....I'm safe in my job. We are doing great with no layoffs...why the hell would I risk my job security at a time like this - when it's a job I love? Well...that's where it morfs into wanting to move.
Where to Live: I've been in Duluth for basically 9 years. I lived out in Fredericksburg, VA for a little while, but then came back to Duluth. So part of it is...I'm feeling the itch to go. I miss being able to pack up and leave. Kind of miss the free spirit part of my soul. I own a house. I love my house...I've put a lot into it already, and it's exhausting...but...it's mine...and someday someone else will live here, and see what was "me" and then make it their own. All a part of the history. But....it's not easy to up and sell a house, not that I really even want to...but can't move away if you're a homeowner (at least not the average middle class Non-Snowbird homeowner). Also...my dog. I love her dearly and she is getting older. Still acts like a pup, but I'm facing it - she's getting older...and I wouldn't put her through a move just because "I'm bored". Now...going backwards a bit but...my other big thought was "Okay...let's say I move...what will I do for work?" Then I rolled backwards into the career choices. Is IT right for me? Yes, IT is a great field that will always be in high demand...but am I good enough yet? Would anyone else take me if I had to leave? I know it sounds silly. I didn't go to school for IT though - I learned everything I know while I've been there. And I've learned a lot...but still scared me to think about what else I could do.
Tieing up those thoughts: Economy + boredom = calm down and be patient. I'm going to give it another year - through another crappy winter, and when financial means are a little more managable, then if I still feel the same as I do right now...then I will reevaluate and make plans.
Baby Fever: Again...last couple months, I've been thinking about how much I want a baby. But I don't ever want to be a single mom. That got me thinking "If I met that person RIGHT NOW - and we got married in 3 years....and a year later I had a baby....I'd already be at least 31". Sounds silly that I thought all that...but those are the words that go with "tick....tock....tick...tock..." It really bothered me. Then in the last couple weeks, it really hit me that...it's not really "BABY fever" - it's "FAMILY fever". I'm not necessarily ready to jump in to having a child right now. But I'm ready just to settle down. I've had a great run of my party years (not to say that they are over....but not to define me anymore). I've got a house, and a great job....and I'm just ready for the rest. I'm ready to meet "that guy" - I'm ready to share my life. And that scares the hell out of me. For anyone that knows me well, I have done/still do everything on my own. I was brought up very independent and I love that about myself. But there is a difference between independent and selfish. I'm ready to share my life with someone. And to throw one last backwards zinger in there: If that isn't going to happen here in Duluth (which I really question), then where?
So all of these thoughts have led me to one great thing that I am very excited about. ROAD TRIP!!!! Late summer/early fall - I am taking 2 weeks - and I'm driving (just me) down to Denver to see my aunt, over to Salt Lake to see my grandma, and down to AZ to visit a friend (maybe a few - seems a lot of people are heading that way!!!). I think doing this, will put this whole blog (aside from the "SAW" junk) in perspective. Road trips are a great way to clear the mind. Plus...if I'm contemplating moving at all....I think this will either kill the bug (most likely) or confirm that it's time to go.
Until then....I would like to do something more with my life....and I don't know what exactly that means. I thought for about 3 seconds of going military...then I laughed my ass off. Sorry family, I still broke that chain. I respect it - I respect the hell out of it, but not anything that I would ever want to do. Maybe some sort of volunteer work. If I can get the time (which I don't have a lot of lately), maybe an Animal Shelter, or a mentor. I think that would be good. I'm not saying I'm on a mission to save the world or any Bono stuff like that...but I want to do something that does make a difference, to someone, to something, maybe even just to me. So if you have any ideas...I'm all ears....or eyes...
Doing Something More
Well...I can't figure out how to get these to post to facebook yet, and maybe I won't figure it out. But I need to write anyway. I haven't written in a long time and I can feel it. Writing is the best release for me...I like when others read my posts, but even if they don't...it's never a waste to free the mind for a while.
Before I begin, I have to say..."SAW" is on TV right now and my neck literally hurts because I'm kinked in such a way so I DO NOT have to see any of it...and am disturbed that there are 3 people on my couch right now who seem to be really into it.
On to Something More. I don't know know what's happened lately...possibly it's a combination of events. But I do feel like I need to do something more with my life. Do not get me wrong, I am very happy where I am...but something has to change. I'm in a routine. Routine = stability (as I kind of give a "yeah right" giggle) but Routine also = Boredom. For the last couple months I have researched new career opportunities, new places to live, and have had baby fever. Then I realized the following:
Career: I love my job. I have been there for 5 years and I am learning more new things every single day. I have a great bunch of co-workers, and while it's no Doctor's salary...it's definitely acceptable. So why was I freaking out? Well...kind of because of my other thoughts for life's path. The economy is a burden for all of us right now...so I thought "I need to be in a field where I can make even more money"....as time went on, I wised up and realized....I'm safe in my job. We are doing great with no layoffs...why the hell would I risk my job security at a time like this - when it's a job I love? Well...that's where it morfs into wanting to move.
Where to Live: I've been in Duluth for basically 9 years. I lived out in Fredericksburg, VA for a little while, but then came back to Duluth. So part of it is...I'm feeling the itch to go. I miss being able to pack up and leave. Kind of miss the free spirit part of my soul. I own a house. I love my house...I've put a lot into it already, and it's exhausting...but...it's mine...and someday someone else will live here, and see what was "me" and then make it their own. All a part of the history. But....it's not easy to up and sell a house, not that I really even want to...but can't move away if you're a homeowner (at least not the average middle class Non-Snowbird homeowner). Also...my dog. I love her dearly and she is getting older. Still acts like a pup, but I'm facing it - she's getting older...and I wouldn't put her through a move just because "I'm bored". Now...going backwards a bit but...my other big thought was "Okay...let's say I move...what will I do for work?" Then I rolled backwards into the career choices. Is IT right for me? Yes, IT is a great field that will always be in high demand...but am I good enough yet? Would anyone else take me if I had to leave? I know it sounds silly. I didn't go to school for IT though - I learned everything I know while I've been there. And I've learned a lot...but still scared me to think about what else I could do.
Tieing up those thoughts: Economy + boredom = calm down and be patient. I'm going to give it another year - through another crappy winter, and when financial means are a little more managable, then if I still feel the same as I do right now...then I will reevaluate and make plans.
Baby Fever: Again...last couple months, I've been thinking about how much I want a baby. But I don't ever want to be a single mom. That got me thinking "If I met that person RIGHT NOW - and we got married in 3 years....and a year later I had a baby....I'd already be at least 31". Sounds silly that I thought all that...but those are the words that go with "tick....tock....tick...tock..." It really bothered me. Then in the last couple weeks, it really hit me that...it's not really "BABY fever" - it's "FAMILY fever". I'm not necessarily ready to jump in to having a child right now. But I'm ready just to settle down. I've had a great run of my party years (not to say that they are over....but not to define me anymore). I've got a house, and a great job....and I'm just ready for the rest. I'm ready to meet "that guy" - I'm ready to share my life. And that scares the hell out of me. For anyone that knows me well, I have done/still do everything on my own. I was brought up very independent and I love that about myself. But there is a difference between independent and selfish. I'm ready to share my life with someone. And to throw one last backwards zinger in there: If that isn't going to happen here in Duluth (which I really question), then where?
So all of these thoughts have led me to one great thing that I am very excited about. ROAD TRIP!!!! Late summer/early fall - I am taking 2 weeks - and I'm driving (just me) down to Denver to see my aunt, over to Salt Lake to see my grandma, and down to AZ to visit a friend (maybe a few - seems a lot of people are heading that way!!!). I think doing this, will put this whole blog (aside from the "SAW" junk) in perspective. Road trips are a great way to clear the mind. Plus...if I'm contemplating moving at all....I think this will either kill the bug (most likely) or confirm that it's time to go.
Until then....I would like to do something more with my life....and I don't know what exactly that means. I thought for about 3 seconds of going military...then I laughed my ass off. Sorry family, I still broke that chain. I respect it - I respect the hell out of it, but not anything that I would ever want to do. Maybe some sort of volunteer work. If I can get the time (which I don't have a lot of lately), maybe an Animal Shelter, or a mentor. I think that would be good. I'm not saying I'm on a mission to save the world or any Bono stuff like that...but I want to do something that does make a difference, to someone, to something, maybe even just to me. So if you have any ideas...I'm all ears....or eyes...
Time off and its side effects
Time off and its side effects.
Current mood:confident
As many of you can tell....I've been bored off my ass today!!! I've been on myspace...AND EVEN FACEBOOK - pretty much all day. Couldn't sand any more today...didn't have the focus. Mind was all over the place. Lack of sleep + my brain equals self destructive thoughts!
But...I started thinking about my current debts: House, Car, Regular bills and utils, Credit Cards, Insurance, blah blah freaking blah. Then I was sulky because I couldn't figure out a way out, blah blah freaking blah, and then this totally different - completely common sense idea came to me. I would love to have my house to myself again - or at least KNOW that I can afford to have it to myself w/out much stress!!! Banks are skimping on loans, the economy is going to be sucking for quite a while....SOOOOO.....rather than paying large amts on all these bills all the f-ing time...I'm going to pay large amounts on one bill, small on the rest. Until that one is paid. Then I'll move onto the next one. And so forth.
Okay...I don't know why I'm making a blog out of this....because I'M BORED THAT'S WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As a matter of fact....I'm cuttin' up on of my Credit Cards right now....here we go....one moment....drum roll please....
...YEP! I just did it! I hate that Capital One card anyway. I've had that card 11 years and they've done NOTHING for me.
Alright - one bill to get gone.....and we're on the way to freedom!!! A long road but will get there!!
Current mood:confident
As many of you can tell....I've been bored off my ass today!!! I've been on myspace...AND EVEN FACEBOOK - pretty much all day. Couldn't sand any more today...didn't have the focus. Mind was all over the place. Lack of sleep + my brain equals self destructive thoughts!
But...I started thinking about my current debts: House, Car, Regular bills and utils, Credit Cards, Insurance, blah blah freaking blah. Then I was sulky because I couldn't figure out a way out, blah blah freaking blah, and then this totally different - completely common sense idea came to me. I would love to have my house to myself again - or at least KNOW that I can afford to have it to myself w/out much stress!!! Banks are skimping on loans, the economy is going to be sucking for quite a while....SOOOOO.....rather than paying large amts on all these bills all the f-ing time...I'm going to pay large amounts on one bill, small on the rest. Until that one is paid. Then I'll move onto the next one. And so forth.
Okay...I don't know why I'm making a blog out of this....because I'M BORED THAT'S WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As a matter of fact....I'm cuttin' up on of my Credit Cards right now....here we go....one moment....drum roll please....
...YEP! I just did it! I hate that Capital One card anyway. I've had that card 11 years and they've done NOTHING for me.
Alright - one bill to get gone.....and we're on the way to freedom!!! A long road but will get there!!
Phrases which precede "That's What She Said"
Feb 18, 2009
Phrases which precede "That's What She Said"
Current mood:dirty
Alright ladies and gents, I'm sorry I've fallen off the "quote blog" wagon in the last few months. BUT....until I can get back on track with them, I am instead creating Phrases Which Precede "That's What She Said". This is especially for Julia and Tom.
1. Stick your tongue in it.
2. I like it against the wall.
3. Not a good place to hit it.
4. See how I tapped that?
5. You should take it in the crack.
6. Everything's becoming so lengthy.
7. I need to get workin' on that.
8. It's moist.
9. This one's horrible; it's bent.
10. I got it all in.
11. I'm fucking off.
12. I'm retiring on the top.
And my personal favorite from the list....
13. Once it hits your lips....it's just so good.
Phrases which precede "That's What She Said"
Current mood:dirty
Alright ladies and gents, I'm sorry I've fallen off the "quote blog" wagon in the last few months. BUT....until I can get back on track with them, I am instead creating Phrases Which Precede "That's What She Said". This is especially for Julia and Tom.
1. Stick your tongue in it.
2. I like it against the wall.
3. Not a good place to hit it.
4. See how I tapped that?
5. You should take it in the crack.
6. Everything's becoming so lengthy.
7. I need to get workin' on that.
8. It's moist.
9. This one's horrible; it's bent.
10. I got it all in.
11. I'm fucking off.
12. I'm retiring on the top.
And my personal favorite from the list....
13. Once it hits your lips....it's just so good.
Ummm.....a few more stats to add.....
Feb 16, 2009
Ummm...a few more stats to add....
Current mood:distractable
43 (I think). I can't EVER find my drill when I need it.
44. I find it incrediblly difficult to drive wearing glasses, when normally I wear contacts.
45. I think I need to meet Caeser Milan. Not because I need help with my dog. But because I think we should get married.
46. I am TERRIFIED of ice. Not driving on it...I can handle that just fine....WALKING ON IT!
47. I always distract myself when working on a project...ahem....like right now when I'm in the middle of sanding.
48. When I have a tough day, I like to look back and see all I've done for myself and realize the hardships that I've already went through....it makes me feel unstoppable (usually!).
49. I need a road trip. Man I miss those.
50. I'm excited for the day that I have less animals in this house. Not my babe though...she stays right here. :)
51. I hate touching chicken. I do it...have to - it's one of my favorite things to prepare...but I usually use a baggie or something when cutting it.
52. You know those Pilsbury cans of biscuits that you tear the paper and then they pop open...I hate those. I get like an anxiety attack when opening them.
53. Balloons - same thing. I hate the anticipation of being scared.
54. My dining room and kitchen are awesomely spotless right now. :)
55. I need to get back to sanding.
Ummm...a few more stats to add....
Current mood:distractable
43 (I think). I can't EVER find my drill when I need it.
44. I find it incrediblly difficult to drive wearing glasses, when normally I wear contacts.
45. I think I need to meet Caeser Milan. Not because I need help with my dog. But because I think we should get married.
46. I am TERRIFIED of ice. Not driving on it...I can handle that just fine....WALKING ON IT!
47. I always distract myself when working on a project...ahem....like right now when I'm in the middle of sanding.
48. When I have a tough day, I like to look back and see all I've done for myself and realize the hardships that I've already went through....it makes me feel unstoppable (usually!).
49. I need a road trip. Man I miss those.
50. I'm excited for the day that I have less animals in this house. Not my babe though...she stays right here. :)
51. I hate touching chicken. I do it...have to - it's one of my favorite things to prepare...but I usually use a baggie or something when cutting it.
52. You know those Pilsbury cans of biscuits that you tear the paper and then they pop open...I hate those. I get like an anxiety attack when opening them.
53. Balloons - same thing. I hate the anticipation of being scared.
54. My dining room and kitchen are awesomely spotless right now. :)
55. I need to get back to sanding.
Random Sabrina Facts
Feb 16, 2009
Random Sabrina Stats
Current mood:enlightened
Some of these are well known by everyone; some I just discovered on my own! Having time to yourself really makes you self aware.
1. I hate big spoons
2. I love big forks
3. I go to sleep on my side...but wake up on my back. (No jokes...jeerrrrks)
4. I could never own that kind of carpet that looks two different colors depending on which way you vacuum. It makes me OCD. (Notice I've torn up all the carpet in my house)
5. "Layla" (piano exit) always gives me the saddest heartwrenching feeling....because of Goodfellas....my favorite movie.
6. I can't imagine what it would be like to give a child up for adoption, but even moreso...I can't imagine what it would be like to adopt a child now with the open adoption process...fearing any drama of the birth parents.
7. I really miss living alone sometimes.
8. I hiccup ever time I take a first sip of Diet Coke (can or bottle).
9. I truly think I have some of the greatest friends I could ask for.
10. I've been getting the itch to move lately. Obviously with the house and everything...it's not possible at this time. And maybe I just have a case of spring fever. Maybe I'm just sad that I've grown out of my "free-spirit" ways. I don't know. I do know that there are a lot of places I haven't seen still. I guess that doesn't mean I have to "move" there...just looking for something new. Gotta' find out what that is, I suppose.
11. Once I start watching pretty much anything on TLC....I can't stop. (pssst....it's on right now!)
12. I love a high thread count in my sheets.
13. Three conversations that can get me mad as hell include: welfare, anti-depressants/ADHD, and "independent student" statuses (I'm passed the age, and graduated but still riled). Please don't assume that because these topics make me angry, that I am completely against the issue. It's the way the issues are handled.
14. Cracklin Oat Bran is dee-lish!
15. My socks barely ever match unless they are nylon socks.
16. I can't clean my left ear w/out choking/coughing.
17. I hate the feeling of vibrations in my hands (SHUT UP!). I mean large things (will you just let me finish already?) Lawnmowers....or a shopping cart on the paved bumpy parking lot...*shivers* hate it.
18. The sound of cardboard against itself is almost just as bad.
19. I like almost every kind of music. I think country really started to blow after about 95....but I like some earlier stuff.
20. I like when a man likes female singers.
21. I can't sleep when my feet are cold.
22. I don't understand how/why people break their phones. I know so many people who have tantrums and break their phone by throwing it...or they lose it....how do these things happen? Why are you throwing your phone???? Set it down....throw a cat or something.
23. I couldn't stand school....but I thrive on learning every day.
24. 24 is my favorite number.
25. I don't like the smell of blueberry things. (incident w/ moldy blueberry bagel in high school)
26. I've said this before...but that feeling of drinking something cold on an empty stomach and feeling it makes its route to your tummy....is just the COOLEST feeling!!!!
27. It's very important to share photos and stories of your loved ones with your children at an early age. Especially when those loved ones just can't visit as often as they'd like.
28. I whine when I'm tired. Not really a whine...more like a whimper. Julia, how would you describe that? And don't say "annoying"!
29. The Ring was a great movie. But it scared the hell out of me. And I think...I think that might be why I can't watch scary movies anymore. Not kidding - I haven't gotten through a scary movie since 2003.
30. It irritates me when people think it's weird that I ask for power tools/menards supplies and such for Christmas. My house is my project...it's hard work...and it's something that makes me feel proud. No tools - no progress.
31. Don't ever use the "you're a girl" shit towards me. You will be sorry. (ahem...Joel...."well we aren't playing slop...but...you're a girl".) Whatcha!!! (for anyone who doesn't know - that's my George Lopez voice)
32. I'm REALLY happy about having the next few days off (mostly off).
33. Someone should buy me a nice 52" flatscreen TV.
34. I don't like the stereotypical scents that women are said to love...like baby powder or vanilla. Too overpowering.
35. I just watched a hilarious clip of a best man tripping on a step - and knocking the bride and the priest into the pool. HAHAHAHA!!!
36. I like when people smile. And it's genuine.
37. I feel like the look now a days - is 18 year olds trying to look - almost like they're 30... There's this particular hair style i'm thinking of....hmmm.....if I see it - I'll let you know.
38. I like the game of Life.
39. For a long time I was afraid of showering when no one else was in the house.
40. I understand the teeny bopper bad bad craze that hits the little pre teen girls. I was one. Last night I was watching SNL...and the Jonas Brothers were on. I have heard of them...but had never heard them. All I have to say is "WTF?!??!" The songs were terrible, they could barely carry a tune (the lead singer was the WORST singer!), I'm just so confused!
41. Speaking of...I've never understood "Kidz Bop" - if you're a kid...and you like the song....why would you want to listen a bunch of other kids sing it...
42. I am extremely laid back and easy to live with...but if I'm sleeping - be respectful and keep it down. My heart will beat with fury when people are loud and I'm sleeping.
GOOD NIGHT!
Random Sabrina Stats
Current mood:enlightened
Some of these are well known by everyone; some I just discovered on my own! Having time to yourself really makes you self aware.
1. I hate big spoons
2. I love big forks
3. I go to sleep on my side...but wake up on my back. (No jokes...jeerrrrks)
4. I could never own that kind of carpet that looks two different colors depending on which way you vacuum. It makes me OCD. (Notice I've torn up all the carpet in my house)
5. "Layla" (piano exit) always gives me the saddest heartwrenching feeling....because of Goodfellas....my favorite movie.
6. I can't imagine what it would be like to give a child up for adoption, but even moreso...I can't imagine what it would be like to adopt a child now with the open adoption process...fearing any drama of the birth parents.
7. I really miss living alone sometimes.
8. I hiccup ever time I take a first sip of Diet Coke (can or bottle).
9. I truly think I have some of the greatest friends I could ask for.
10. I've been getting the itch to move lately. Obviously with the house and everything...it's not possible at this time. And maybe I just have a case of spring fever. Maybe I'm just sad that I've grown out of my "free-spirit" ways. I don't know. I do know that there are a lot of places I haven't seen still. I guess that doesn't mean I have to "move" there...just looking for something new. Gotta' find out what that is, I suppose.
11. Once I start watching pretty much anything on TLC....I can't stop. (pssst....it's on right now!)
12. I love a high thread count in my sheets.
13. Three conversations that can get me mad as hell include: welfare, anti-depressants/ADHD, and "independent student" statuses (I'm passed the age, and graduated but still riled). Please don't assume that because these topics make me angry, that I am completely against the issue. It's the way the issues are handled.
14. Cracklin Oat Bran is dee-lish!
15. My socks barely ever match unless they are nylon socks.
16. I can't clean my left ear w/out choking/coughing.
17. I hate the feeling of vibrations in my hands (SHUT UP!). I mean large things (will you just let me finish already?) Lawnmowers....or a shopping cart on the paved bumpy parking lot...*shivers* hate it.
18. The sound of cardboard against itself is almost just as bad.
19. I like almost every kind of music. I think country really started to blow after about 95....but I like some earlier stuff.
20. I like when a man likes female singers.
21. I can't sleep when my feet are cold.
22. I don't understand how/why people break their phones. I know so many people who have tantrums and break their phone by throwing it...or they lose it....how do these things happen? Why are you throwing your phone???? Set it down....throw a cat or something.
23. I couldn't stand school....but I thrive on learning every day.
24. 24 is my favorite number.
25. I don't like the smell of blueberry things. (incident w/ moldy blueberry bagel in high school)
26. I've said this before...but that feeling of drinking something cold on an empty stomach and feeling it makes its route to your tummy....is just the COOLEST feeling!!!!
27. It's very important to share photos and stories of your loved ones with your children at an early age. Especially when those loved ones just can't visit as often as they'd like.
28. I whine when I'm tired. Not really a whine...more like a whimper. Julia, how would you describe that? And don't say "annoying"!
29. The Ring was a great movie. But it scared the hell out of me. And I think...I think that might be why I can't watch scary movies anymore. Not kidding - I haven't gotten through a scary movie since 2003.
30. It irritates me when people think it's weird that I ask for power tools/menards supplies and such for Christmas. My house is my project...it's hard work...and it's something that makes me feel proud. No tools - no progress.
31. Don't ever use the "you're a girl" shit towards me. You will be sorry. (ahem...Joel...."well we aren't playing slop...but...you're a girl".) Whatcha!!! (for anyone who doesn't know - that's my George Lopez voice)
32. I'm REALLY happy about having the next few days off (mostly off).
33. Someone should buy me a nice 52" flatscreen TV.
34. I don't like the stereotypical scents that women are said to love...like baby powder or vanilla. Too overpowering.
35. I just watched a hilarious clip of a best man tripping on a step - and knocking the bride and the priest into the pool. HAHAHAHA!!!
36. I like when people smile. And it's genuine.
37. I feel like the look now a days - is 18 year olds trying to look - almost like they're 30... There's this particular hair style i'm thinking of....hmmm.....if I see it - I'll let you know.
38. I like the game of Life.
39. For a long time I was afraid of showering when no one else was in the house.
40. I understand the teeny bopper bad bad craze that hits the little pre teen girls. I was one. Last night I was watching SNL...and the Jonas Brothers were on. I have heard of them...but had never heard them. All I have to say is "WTF?!??!" The songs were terrible, they could barely carry a tune (the lead singer was the WORST singer!), I'm just so confused!
41. Speaking of...I've never understood "Kidz Bop" - if you're a kid...and you like the song....why would you want to listen a bunch of other kids sing it...
42. I am extremely laid back and easy to live with...but if I'm sleeping - be respectful and keep it down. My heart will beat with fury when people are loud and I'm sleeping.
GOOD NIGHT!
Spilling the Eggs...then picking them up and making an omelet!
Feb 8, 2009
Spilling the Eggs...then picking them up and making an omelet!
Current mood:mellow
A long time ago, I wrote a blog (or two) about how I always put all my eggs in one basket. I may be getting older...but I'm still repeating that mistake. With the start of 2009, or actually a little before...I decided to make a bunch of changes. I thought "now is the time do everything I want/need to do". I started going to the gym again - every day, I picked up another job, I started dating again, started working on more home projects, started Weight Watchers, took on some bigger projects at work....and now here I am. At this very moment...I'm okay. But I gotta' say - the last couple weeks have been arduous to say the least.
When the year rolled over, a good friend of mine was concerned about all my plans. She said "when are you going to have any time for me?" :) Now, of course she was kidding but she also said "Why don't you just start with one of these things?" Of course in my mind I said "Why? I want all of these things - they're all good and healthy things to do....blah blah blah".
Okay. Maybe she was right BUT now I have started these things and am happy with the way they are all beginning. The Gym: I feel better. I did back off a little bit and am not going EVERY day now - but still at least 4 times a week. I feel good when I leave the gym, and I feel overall...healthier. Another job: No, I don't like having another job....BUT...times are tough and finances are a burden. I don't hate the job; doesn't pay well...at all...but it's something. And when I think about it...I should feel lucky to have the opportunity to have 2 jobs when so many others are losing their 1 right now. Dating: It's been a long time. Not always easy. Forgot how much fun it is dating a new person. Also forgot what a bummer it if that person has to leave (physically or metaphorically). Home Projects: Got the new light [finally] installed in the bathroom! Fixed the other light in the bathroom! Going to work on the living room moulding week after next. Fun? No, but I took long enough of a time out....and I'm going to feel good to see more progress! It's very gratifying to see everything I've done...and know that I've done it alone (or mostly). Weight Watchers: Down 7.8 lbs. Hope to be 10 by end of the week. We'll see. It's actually not difficult, but with the way things are going - it's frustrating to pay the fee every week, and also hard to leave my work at that same time each week. Projects at work: I guess this is where the breakdown was really coming into play. I'm leading managing a large project right now, as well as "DOING" 3 other big projects myself.
So...with the ups and downs of...emotions and physical and mental toll of everything listed....I felt it coming. Wednesday. I tried to utter the words "I need a vacation" to a friend of mine. It came out "I need a vaca" - and then I just lost it. That night I decided to relax some, and went up to a friends and watched a movie. It was nice and relaxing....then started to feel better....and did my taxes. HOLY HELL! Owing $1275 later, I sat here and thought about my situation. Then...I went and played some pool. Came home. Hit the sheets.
Today. A new day. A new outlook. Most of these things that I have started, I can't really stop at this point...nor do I want to. But instead of trying to rush into EVERY one of these full force....I just need to take some time each day for myself. I've accomplished a lot in about 4 weeks. And I gotta' say - I think it was on a pure adrenaline rush. Adrenaline rushes are scary. They are bound to end with a crash. SOOOO....I think things are going to start evening out here again soon. I've got one more busy week ahead of me....then I have the 15-18th off. I'm going to work on my moulding then. And then....scratch that off my list.
You know, it's getting late and I seem to have lost my focus in this blog. I hate when that happens because I've typed too much to just let it go to waste now. Argghhhhh.
I guess - I have to realize that while I have a lot on my plate now...it won't always be this way. Things get tough and you gotta' do what you gotta' do. Someday I will look back and say "Man, I'm so glad I don't have to work 2 jobs anymore" (I freaking hope so), and someday I'm going to get my house appraised and realize what my blood, sweat, and tears (and bruises and burns and slivers) have done for ME! Going to the gym always has its benefits. I can feel them in my pants (that's what she said - that's for you Julia). As for dating, we're all looking for the same thing - someone with whom you are compatibe, who you can't wait to see each day, and who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. I'm just going to have to retrain myself on the rules. If it's meant to be...it will be. But...I can't force something that inevitably isn't going to work, nor will I settle for something less than I deserve. I see a lot of couples doing that these days. It pays to be patient. And at work...I know this is my weakness. I don't ask for help. I do, do, do, until I snap. And it doesn't just benefit ME to ask for help. It's better for the department to cross train and gain a better knowledge of what each individual is doing, and how we can learn to network and help each other, and overall is better for the company.
So - with that said...I will slow down a bit, be patient, ask for help when I need it, and stay positive knowing that someday I can look back on these things and smile knowing I did it. I just have to do it the right way.
Man, this was one long rambly blog....wish I would have started it earlier when I was more alert....wouldn't have have been so scatterbrained then. Oh well. For anyone who actually finished reading...thank you and good night.
Spilling the Eggs...then picking them up and making an omelet!
Current mood:mellow
A long time ago, I wrote a blog (or two) about how I always put all my eggs in one basket. I may be getting older...but I'm still repeating that mistake. With the start of 2009, or actually a little before...I decided to make a bunch of changes. I thought "now is the time do everything I want/need to do". I started going to the gym again - every day, I picked up another job, I started dating again, started working on more home projects, started Weight Watchers, took on some bigger projects at work....and now here I am. At this very moment...I'm okay. But I gotta' say - the last couple weeks have been arduous to say the least.
When the year rolled over, a good friend of mine was concerned about all my plans. She said "when are you going to have any time for me?" :) Now, of course she was kidding but she also said "Why don't you just start with one of these things?" Of course in my mind I said "Why? I want all of these things - they're all good and healthy things to do....blah blah blah".
Okay. Maybe she was right BUT now I have started these things and am happy with the way they are all beginning. The Gym: I feel better. I did back off a little bit and am not going EVERY day now - but still at least 4 times a week. I feel good when I leave the gym, and I feel overall...healthier. Another job: No, I don't like having another job....BUT...times are tough and finances are a burden. I don't hate the job; doesn't pay well...at all...but it's something. And when I think about it...I should feel lucky to have the opportunity to have 2 jobs when so many others are losing their 1 right now. Dating: It's been a long time. Not always easy. Forgot how much fun it is dating a new person. Also forgot what a bummer it if that person has to leave (physically or metaphorically). Home Projects: Got the new light [finally] installed in the bathroom! Fixed the other light in the bathroom! Going to work on the living room moulding week after next. Fun? No, but I took long enough of a time out....and I'm going to feel good to see more progress! It's very gratifying to see everything I've done...and know that I've done it alone (or mostly). Weight Watchers: Down 7.8 lbs. Hope to be 10 by end of the week. We'll see. It's actually not difficult, but with the way things are going - it's frustrating to pay the fee every week, and also hard to leave my work at that same time each week. Projects at work: I guess this is where the breakdown was really coming into play. I'm leading managing a large project right now, as well as "DOING" 3 other big projects myself.
So...with the ups and downs of...emotions and physical and mental toll of everything listed....I felt it coming. Wednesday. I tried to utter the words "I need a vacation" to a friend of mine. It came out "I need a vaca" - and then I just lost it. That night I decided to relax some, and went up to a friends and watched a movie. It was nice and relaxing....then started to feel better....and did my taxes. HOLY HELL! Owing $1275 later, I sat here and thought about my situation. Then...I went and played some pool. Came home. Hit the sheets.
Today. A new day. A new outlook. Most of these things that I have started, I can't really stop at this point...nor do I want to. But instead of trying to rush into EVERY one of these full force....I just need to take some time each day for myself. I've accomplished a lot in about 4 weeks. And I gotta' say - I think it was on a pure adrenaline rush. Adrenaline rushes are scary. They are bound to end with a crash. SOOOO....I think things are going to start evening out here again soon. I've got one more busy week ahead of me....then I have the 15-18th off. I'm going to work on my moulding then. And then....scratch that off my list.
You know, it's getting late and I seem to have lost my focus in this blog. I hate when that happens because I've typed too much to just let it go to waste now. Argghhhhh.
I guess - I have to realize that while I have a lot on my plate now...it won't always be this way. Things get tough and you gotta' do what you gotta' do. Someday I will look back and say "Man, I'm so glad I don't have to work 2 jobs anymore" (I freaking hope so), and someday I'm going to get my house appraised and realize what my blood, sweat, and tears (and bruises and burns and slivers) have done for ME! Going to the gym always has its benefits. I can feel them in my pants (that's what she said - that's for you Julia). As for dating, we're all looking for the same thing - someone with whom you are compatibe, who you can't wait to see each day, and who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. I'm just going to have to retrain myself on the rules. If it's meant to be...it will be. But...I can't force something that inevitably isn't going to work, nor will I settle for something less than I deserve. I see a lot of couples doing that these days. It pays to be patient. And at work...I know this is my weakness. I don't ask for help. I do, do, do, until I snap. And it doesn't just benefit ME to ask for help. It's better for the department to cross train and gain a better knowledge of what each individual is doing, and how we can learn to network and help each other, and overall is better for the company.
So - with that said...I will slow down a bit, be patient, ask for help when I need it, and stay positive knowing that someday I can look back on these things and smile knowing I did it. I just have to do it the right way.
Man, this was one long rambly blog....wish I would have started it earlier when I was more alert....wouldn't have have been so scatterbrained then. Oh well. For anyone who actually finished reading...thank you and good night.
Baby Girl
Jan 21, 2009
Baby Girl
Current mood:restless
Well....everyone knows how important my Budha Bear is to me...for 1,000 reasons. I've been trying to keep myself in check and reiterate the fact that....she IS getting older. She's 11. SOMEDAY I am going to have to deal with a loss, and it won't be pretty.
I've loved this dog since I first laid eyes on her in 2002. I loved how Jon would let me come over and get her whenever I wanted. I loved how she knew the sound of my car from his upstairs living room window. I loved how she jumped up in his lap and was upset when I moved out. I love that his family knew that I should have her when he passed. I love the fact that she and I got each other through it. We did. And it may sound unhealthy - but - she is also the last tie I have....to that time of my life. To Jon.
Now don't get all worried, everyone - Budha is fine. But I've just been watching her lately. A couple days ago when I was home sick, Tom and Eric took her with snowshoeing (that doesn't look like it's spelled right). They said she ran and ran and ran and ran and had a great time. I don't doubt it at all - I've been kind of down for the count lately and haven't gotten her out much.
But she's been sleeping so much more than she ever used to. Last night she fell down in the kitchen. Her one leg just....gave out. She got right back up and I reached down to kind of stretch out her leg, and she yelped at me. She's getting older. Her hips are 77.
I'm just NOW in this minute realizing I have no idea what my point in this blog is. It was just on my mind I guess. I guess I'm just making it known (maybe just to myself) that I'm not living in a state of oblivion. I'm not going to deny that my "puppy" is getting older. I will accept it, and cherish her always. She'll be here a long time yet; I know this. And since there is no fountain of youth....we will just get older together. Just more time for snugglin'!
Baby Girl
Current mood:restless
Well....everyone knows how important my Budha Bear is to me...for 1,000 reasons. I've been trying to keep myself in check and reiterate the fact that....she IS getting older. She's 11. SOMEDAY I am going to have to deal with a loss, and it won't be pretty.
I've loved this dog since I first laid eyes on her in 2002. I loved how Jon would let me come over and get her whenever I wanted. I loved how she knew the sound of my car from his upstairs living room window. I loved how she jumped up in his lap and was upset when I moved out. I love that his family knew that I should have her when he passed. I love the fact that she and I got each other through it. We did. And it may sound unhealthy - but - she is also the last tie I have....to that time of my life. To Jon.
Now don't get all worried, everyone - Budha is fine. But I've just been watching her lately. A couple days ago when I was home sick, Tom and Eric took her with snowshoeing (that doesn't look like it's spelled right). They said she ran and ran and ran and ran and had a great time. I don't doubt it at all - I've been kind of down for the count lately and haven't gotten her out much.
But she's been sleeping so much more than she ever used to. Last night she fell down in the kitchen. Her one leg just....gave out. She got right back up and I reached down to kind of stretch out her leg, and she yelped at me. She's getting older. Her hips are 77.
I'm just NOW in this minute realizing I have no idea what my point in this blog is. It was just on my mind I guess. I guess I'm just making it known (maybe just to myself) that I'm not living in a state of oblivion. I'm not going to deny that my "puppy" is getting older. I will accept it, and cherish her always. She'll be here a long time yet; I know this. And since there is no fountain of youth....we will just get older together. Just more time for snugglin'!
Sabrina Soup
Nov 14, 2008
Sabrina Soup
Current mood:thoughtful
I call this one Sabrina Soup because it's going to be about a bunch of different random things I've thought about in recent weeks.
1. Turning a blind eye....sometimes a good thing....sometimes not. A few weeks ago I was on my usual walk with Budha. It was a gorgeous day and there were leaves all over the ground that made peaceful swish and crackle as we walked through them. Then all of the sudden, it hit me that we are still at war with Iraq. I remember the night we went to war. I remember thinking what a scary time we are living in. And now....it's 5 years later....and I've overlooked it. I think many of us have. There are still many families out there with loved ones fighting. And apart from that, many of us....are seeing our day to day blind to any war. Granted, we cannot dwell....but how sad....how sad that I had actually completely forgotten.
2. Speaking of turning a blind eye....Obama. When he first announced his running for presidency, of course...everyone probably wondered "a black president?" And every now and then that thought still crossed my mind. But when he was elected, I didn't even think about it....until they showed the faces of some of the black community rejoicing in his victory. And it wasn't until that moment when it really hit me...and maybe many others, what a truly historical day that was. That evening I watched the news as people called in with their opinions of the result. Some happy, some sad, some scared, some upset because McCain didn't win, but still respectful, and some....just flat ignorant. I'm sorry but - no I'm not sorry. If you're going to take the time...to call in and be heard on national television on a matter as important as the presidency, you'd better be damn sure to have your facts straight. Opinion is one thing - fact is another. From people saying Obama wasn't born in this country, to saying he's a Muslim, or that he's a terrorist. If you don't like him - hey - to each their own. But be valid if you're going to try to prove a point. About anything.
3. The lottery. Everyone has thought about it. A lot of a people have probably had to write an essay at some point in their lives about what they would do with a million dollars. And people say what they'd buy, where they'd go, what they'd pay off........but I wonder who would start something with their money. This isn't to judge at all because - one thing I don't like is when someone says "well so and so has enough money for that huge house, blah blah, and they can't give anything to blah blah charity". Charity is great. But it is NO ONE'S choice what another should spend their money on. It's one thing to see someone who doesn't have much money - buying something impractical....but if you have a million dollars, that shit is yours. Don't let people tell you what you should do with it. But I was thinking about this one day, and I thought the usual.....pay off all my bills, buy a Cadillac CTS, sell my house for a bigger one (not huge though), give a little here, give a little there....but then what? A lot of people would travel. That's respectable....I like traveling, but it's not something I dream of. I'd have to work - I'd get so bored if I didn't. So I decided if I won the lottery, after I did all that other crap...I'd open an animal shelter (or a few). It would be huge. I'd have trainers and groomers come in on a routine schedule. And connected to it would be a little shop with treats, toys, harnesses, cages, food, beds, tags (and we'd engrave of course), Hmmmm....it may sound like a loopy childish idea. But I'd love it.
4. Freak Out Finale. Last year I flipped out for quite a while. It had been a year since Jon passed. I was through the hardest part....and then I didn't know where to go. I made a lot of new friends. And then I just went crazy for a while. I drank a lot. I partied really hard about 3 to 4 nights a week and then wondered why I didn't have any money. I remember the exact day it started. I was finally feeling better, getting through my days easier…and one night I was out with some new friends, and some old friends, and we drank, and I was HAPPY! It felt so good to feel GOOD again! I knew I had to be careful, especially given the history on both sides of my family. But as the months went on…I just kept going. A few weeks ago I thought "There's a fine line between finding one's self and losing one's self". The people who have never lost themselves….didn't get it. I'm lucky. For almost a full year, I was out in the deep end….acting completely out of sorts, and not knowing where this behavior was even coming from. But really….it was just a part of it. In September…..I finally got back on track. No significant event really took place. Over the summer I kept very busy and played a lot of volleyball, then I landed a couple decent projects at work….and things started to fall into place. Since September I've felt good. I can go out, I can stay home, I can do whatever….and I feel in control again. Maybe that's just how it has to be. Year one was nothing but grief. Year two was just insanity, trying to find what made me happy again, now we are fast approaching year three. Things are going well. I just started working on our Wellness Committee at work. I'm passionate about that. We're going to try and promote physical and mental health to our employees. As well as that, I'd like to encourage support for people coping with loss, cancer, abuse, etc… I feel good about this project. I hate Halloween. Haven't dressed up since I was about 12. This year….I did it. Dressed up – went all out. And you know – I had a great time! Again…turning a new leaf. Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving has always been one of those weird holidays for me. This year I'm hosting Thanksgiving for my family. I'm a little nervous but I'm overall excited. I have a great family and am excited for them to come. And I think it's going to be a great way to start building new memories. I think 2009 is going to be a great year. It has to be. It has to be.
Sabrina Soup
Current mood:thoughtful
I call this one Sabrina Soup because it's going to be about a bunch of different random things I've thought about in recent weeks.
1. Turning a blind eye....sometimes a good thing....sometimes not. A few weeks ago I was on my usual walk with Budha. It was a gorgeous day and there were leaves all over the ground that made peaceful swish and crackle as we walked through them. Then all of the sudden, it hit me that we are still at war with Iraq. I remember the night we went to war. I remember thinking what a scary time we are living in. And now....it's 5 years later....and I've overlooked it. I think many of us have. There are still many families out there with loved ones fighting. And apart from that, many of us....are seeing our day to day blind to any war. Granted, we cannot dwell....but how sad....how sad that I had actually completely forgotten.
2. Speaking of turning a blind eye....Obama. When he first announced his running for presidency, of course...everyone probably wondered "a black president?" And every now and then that thought still crossed my mind. But when he was elected, I didn't even think about it....until they showed the faces of some of the black community rejoicing in his victory. And it wasn't until that moment when it really hit me...and maybe many others, what a truly historical day that was. That evening I watched the news as people called in with their opinions of the result. Some happy, some sad, some scared, some upset because McCain didn't win, but still respectful, and some....just flat ignorant. I'm sorry but - no I'm not sorry. If you're going to take the time...to call in and be heard on national television on a matter as important as the presidency, you'd better be damn sure to have your facts straight. Opinion is one thing - fact is another. From people saying Obama wasn't born in this country, to saying he's a Muslim, or that he's a terrorist. If you don't like him - hey - to each their own. But be valid if you're going to try to prove a point. About anything.
3. The lottery. Everyone has thought about it. A lot of a people have probably had to write an essay at some point in their lives about what they would do with a million dollars. And people say what they'd buy, where they'd go, what they'd pay off........but I wonder who would start something with their money. This isn't to judge at all because - one thing I don't like is when someone says "well so and so has enough money for that huge house, blah blah, and they can't give anything to blah blah charity". Charity is great. But it is NO ONE'S choice what another should spend their money on. It's one thing to see someone who doesn't have much money - buying something impractical....but if you have a million dollars, that shit is yours. Don't let people tell you what you should do with it. But I was thinking about this one day, and I thought the usual.....pay off all my bills, buy a Cadillac CTS, sell my house for a bigger one (not huge though), give a little here, give a little there....but then what? A lot of people would travel. That's respectable....I like traveling, but it's not something I dream of. I'd have to work - I'd get so bored if I didn't. So I decided if I won the lottery, after I did all that other crap...I'd open an animal shelter (or a few). It would be huge. I'd have trainers and groomers come in on a routine schedule. And connected to it would be a little shop with treats, toys, harnesses, cages, food, beds, tags (and we'd engrave of course), Hmmmm....it may sound like a loopy childish idea. But I'd love it.
4. Freak Out Finale. Last year I flipped out for quite a while. It had been a year since Jon passed. I was through the hardest part....and then I didn't know where to go. I made a lot of new friends. And then I just went crazy for a while. I drank a lot. I partied really hard about 3 to 4 nights a week and then wondered why I didn't have any money. I remember the exact day it started. I was finally feeling better, getting through my days easier…and one night I was out with some new friends, and some old friends, and we drank, and I was HAPPY! It felt so good to feel GOOD again! I knew I had to be careful, especially given the history on both sides of my family. But as the months went on…I just kept going. A few weeks ago I thought "There's a fine line between finding one's self and losing one's self". The people who have never lost themselves….didn't get it. I'm lucky. For almost a full year, I was out in the deep end….acting completely out of sorts, and not knowing where this behavior was even coming from. But really….it was just a part of it. In September…..I finally got back on track. No significant event really took place. Over the summer I kept very busy and played a lot of volleyball, then I landed a couple decent projects at work….and things started to fall into place. Since September I've felt good. I can go out, I can stay home, I can do whatever….and I feel in control again. Maybe that's just how it has to be. Year one was nothing but grief. Year two was just insanity, trying to find what made me happy again, now we are fast approaching year three. Things are going well. I just started working on our Wellness Committee at work. I'm passionate about that. We're going to try and promote physical and mental health to our employees. As well as that, I'd like to encourage support for people coping with loss, cancer, abuse, etc… I feel good about this project. I hate Halloween. Haven't dressed up since I was about 12. This year….I did it. Dressed up – went all out. And you know – I had a great time! Again…turning a new leaf. Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving has always been one of those weird holidays for me. This year I'm hosting Thanksgiving for my family. I'm a little nervous but I'm overall excited. I have a great family and am excited for them to come. And I think it's going to be a great way to start building new memories. I think 2009 is going to be a great year. It has to be. It has to be.
The "B" Blog
Oct 28, 2008
The "B" Blog
Current mood:indescribable
1. Best Friends:
This is why I love my best friend. Every now and then we'll send each other a random card in the mail. She writes all over her cards. So today I get one (YEA!)....and I read every inch of it and then I turn it to the back and it says "There's nothing here. God, quit expecting stuff....." I laughed my ass off. I love you Julia! I hope to see you soon!!!!! I think it might still be possible. I will let you know for sure by Wed.
2. Banana Peels:
Today I came home and there was a banana peel on the floor. Really? That's totally gross.
3. Budha's Birthday and Bladder Infections (lots of Bs):
Guess what everyone?!?!?! Tomorrow is my baby bear's birthday!!! She's going to be 11 years old. My baby! So for the last couple weeks Budha has been peeing on the floor (which she has NEVER done) and I thought she was angry with me because I had a new roommate move in and I thought maybe she was jealous.....nope. She has a bladder infection. My poor schmoopy - and I was so mad at her at first. But now she gets a special pill in a big hunk of cheese every morning and every night. So....she thinks she's getting spoiled now. :)
4. Bastards:
Tom's bastard cats! Okay, really I love them but I didn't last night!!! Ziggy escaped and would not come back (in the rain!!!) for like over an hour. Then Woogy ran out and I had to run out in the rain in my socks to get that little brat. Anyway - they are both home any annoying agian.
5. Bloody Mary:
I like spicy. I like alcohol. Yet I've never liked bloody marys. Yesterday I finally got the right amount amt of tobasco added.....and ENJOYED my first bloody mary. Hooray!
6. Bride of Darkness
That will be my Halloween costume this year. I haven't dressed up since umm....I was 12. Hopefully it gets here on time. I think it should be here by Wednesday though. Erin and Colin...this is all for you guys.
7. Black Hair Dye:
Who out there has blonde, light brown, or strawberry blond hair and has used a temporary black hair dye? Does it come out pretty easy or no??
8. Buenos Noches:
Good Night.
The "B" Blog
Current mood:indescribable
1. Best Friends:
This is why I love my best friend. Every now and then we'll send each other a random card in the mail. She writes all over her cards. So today I get one (YEA!)....and I read every inch of it and then I turn it to the back and it says "There's nothing here. God, quit expecting stuff....." I laughed my ass off. I love you Julia! I hope to see you soon!!!!! I think it might still be possible. I will let you know for sure by Wed.
2. Banana Peels:
Today I came home and there was a banana peel on the floor. Really? That's totally gross.
3. Budha's Birthday and Bladder Infections (lots of Bs):
Guess what everyone?!?!?! Tomorrow is my baby bear's birthday!!! She's going to be 11 years old. My baby! So for the last couple weeks Budha has been peeing on the floor (which she has NEVER done) and I thought she was angry with me because I had a new roommate move in and I thought maybe she was jealous.....nope. She has a bladder infection. My poor schmoopy - and I was so mad at her at first. But now she gets a special pill in a big hunk of cheese every morning and every night. So....she thinks she's getting spoiled now. :)
4. Bastards:
Tom's bastard cats! Okay, really I love them but I didn't last night!!! Ziggy escaped and would not come back (in the rain!!!) for like over an hour. Then Woogy ran out and I had to run out in the rain in my socks to get that little brat. Anyway - they are both home any annoying agian.
5. Bloody Mary:
I like spicy. I like alcohol. Yet I've never liked bloody marys. Yesterday I finally got the right amount amt of tobasco added.....and ENJOYED my first bloody mary. Hooray!
6. Bride of Darkness
That will be my Halloween costume this year. I haven't dressed up since umm....I was 12. Hopefully it gets here on time. I think it should be here by Wednesday though. Erin and Colin...this is all for you guys.
7. Black Hair Dye:
Who out there has blonde, light brown, or strawberry blond hair and has used a temporary black hair dye? Does it come out pretty easy or no??
8. Buenos Noches:
Good Night.
Roommate, Baby Girl, Rock Band, Family, Car Accidents, Life, and Fate
Oct 23, 2008
Roommate, Baby Girl, Rock Band, Family, Car Accidents, Life, and Fate
Current mood:sleepy
Roommates:
Well, Stephanie moved in in September. She's great! Our personalities are terrifyingly alike. Yes, "terrifyingly". It's been al ot of fun though. Working out great!! Tom....Tom has applied for a job in North Carolina. He made the panel and has been interviewed. So...any day now we'll find out if Tom is moving away or not. :(
Baby Girl:
Last weekend I went to a concert in the cities. I asked Stephanie if she wanted to come. She did. then I asked tom if he wanted to come. He did. Then I thought "What about Budha?!?!?!?" So my awesome friends, Mandy and Ken agreed to take her.... First time ever. I brought her there and she cried and screamed for about the first 10 minutes that I was gone. But then she was really good. They went for walks and played and took naps and Budha was very good and happy. This THRILLS me. What can I say? I'm a proud mama.
Rock Band:
Yes, the newest addition to our family. Seriously....between Guitar Hero, Wii Sports, and RockBand...I never want to leave the house. It's so fun!
Family:
Saw some of the family last weekend. That was fun. Gonna host Thanksgiving this year. That's fun too. I wish the time would slow down. Man, I feel like life has really gotten away from me. Now it's comin back and it's comin' back too fast!
Car Accidents:
So yesterday Stephanie and I left for work. We dropped our buddy off at his house, and about 20 seconds later, got totally nailed coming out of the alley. It was a pretty good one. Stephanie's car is completely totaled. Poor thing. I felt so bad for her. She JUST paid a LARGE chunk of money last week on getting things worked on....then this happens. We got out of it okay, little whiplash. Stephanie is pretty sore still and I have a bruised stomach, and minor shit. Could have been worse - but I still felt bad for her. It's one of those things.....you just don't see it coming.
Life and Fate:
This sucks. I was so excited to write this and now I've gotten so tired at the most critical meaningful part of the blog. Kinda tired though. I will try to continue this blog at another time...when I have a clearer head.
Roommate, Baby Girl, Rock Band, Family, Car Accidents, Life, and Fate
Current mood:sleepy
Roommates:
Well, Stephanie moved in in September. She's great! Our personalities are terrifyingly alike. Yes, "terrifyingly". It's been al ot of fun though. Working out great!! Tom....Tom has applied for a job in North Carolina. He made the panel and has been interviewed. So...any day now we'll find out if Tom is moving away or not. :(
Baby Girl:
Last weekend I went to a concert in the cities. I asked Stephanie if she wanted to come. She did. then I asked tom if he wanted to come. He did. Then I thought "What about Budha?!?!?!?" So my awesome friends, Mandy and Ken agreed to take her.... First time ever. I brought her there and she cried and screamed for about the first 10 minutes that I was gone. But then she was really good. They went for walks and played and took naps and Budha was very good and happy. This THRILLS me. What can I say? I'm a proud mama.
Rock Band:
Yes, the newest addition to our family. Seriously....between Guitar Hero, Wii Sports, and RockBand...I never want to leave the house. It's so fun!
Family:
Saw some of the family last weekend. That was fun. Gonna host Thanksgiving this year. That's fun too. I wish the time would slow down. Man, I feel like life has really gotten away from me. Now it's comin back and it's comin' back too fast!
Car Accidents:
So yesterday Stephanie and I left for work. We dropped our buddy off at his house, and about 20 seconds later, got totally nailed coming out of the alley. It was a pretty good one. Stephanie's car is completely totaled. Poor thing. I felt so bad for her. She JUST paid a LARGE chunk of money last week on getting things worked on....then this happens. We got out of it okay, little whiplash. Stephanie is pretty sore still and I have a bruised stomach, and minor shit. Could have been worse - but I still felt bad for her. It's one of those things.....you just don't see it coming.
Life and Fate:
This sucks. I was so excited to write this and now I've gotten so tired at the most critical meaningful part of the blog. Kinda tired though. I will try to continue this blog at another time...when I have a clearer head.
and on to Part VIII
Oct 1, 2008
and on to Part VIII
Current mood:happy
104. "Caution, I'm hot" – Alex
105. [Tried to call Dave a douchebag but tripped over the words] - Me
"Just cause….you choked on your douchebag" – Dave
106. "Brandi, we stopped smoking together" – Brandon
"Yeah, I think we should start smoking together" – Brandi
107. "Yeah, I have to be drug free and sober before I go to jail" – Anonymous
"Dude's so bad, jail won't even take him" – Jesse
108. (Arguing with my carpool buddy over who's going to drive the golf cart)
"No you're not driving; I'm driving." – Me
"It's my week to drive" – Mike
"Nope I'm driving….now where's the first hole of the tournament?" – Me
"Oh sure, you take off my pants and then expect me to walk around" – Mike H.
109. "What is this…..bacon salt? They make salt especially for bacon?" – Julia
110. "She [Budha] liked Asja just fine until she sniffed her butt" - Me
"Yeah, I liked Squanto just fine until he sniffed my butt" - Ken
111. "You look kind of fucked up right now….not like – your hair….but like your face" - Mike B.
12. "Your whole face smells like weed" - Scott
13. "When it gets hard, just go up and down, up and down" – Alex (would you believe that the subject matter was Guitar Hero)
14. "I'm not trying to fight you man" – Anonymous (drunk and staggering badly)
"I'm not trying to fight you either, I'm trying to stop you from gettin' in a fight with the ground!" – Weller
and on to Part VIII
Current mood:happy
104. "Caution, I'm hot" – Alex
105. [Tried to call Dave a douchebag but tripped over the words] - Me
"Just cause….you choked on your douchebag" – Dave
106. "Brandi, we stopped smoking together" – Brandon
"Yeah, I think we should start smoking together" – Brandi
107. "Yeah, I have to be drug free and sober before I go to jail" – Anonymous
"Dude's so bad, jail won't even take him" – Jesse
108. (Arguing with my carpool buddy over who's going to drive the golf cart)
"No you're not driving; I'm driving." – Me
"It's my week to drive" – Mike
"Nope I'm driving….now where's the first hole of the tournament?" – Me
"Oh sure, you take off my pants and then expect me to walk around" – Mike H.
109. "What is this…..bacon salt? They make salt especially for bacon?" – Julia
110. "She [Budha] liked Asja just fine until she sniffed her butt" - Me
"Yeah, I liked Squanto just fine until he sniffed my butt" - Ken
111. "You look kind of fucked up right now….not like – your hair….but like your face" - Mike B.
12. "Your whole face smells like weed" - Scott
13. "When it gets hard, just go up and down, up and down" – Alex (would you believe that the subject matter was Guitar Hero)
14. "I'm not trying to fight you man" – Anonymous (drunk and staggering badly)
"I'm not trying to fight you either, I'm trying to stop you from gettin' in a fight with the ground!" – Weller
Funny Quotes Part VII
Aug 29, 2008
Funny Quotes Part VII
Current mood:excited
90. Tom: "She looks like spaghetti"
91. Anonymous – "I'm making a list of things I'm going to bring"
Me: "Read me the list"
Anonymous "The pipe we got in Amsterdam…..that's the list"
92. Jessica: "My fake boyfriend has a real girlfriend"
93. Dustin "It wasn't because I had a poopy diaper"
94. Me: "It's not hot in your mouth; it's hot in your head"
95. Tony: "Sorry guys, the beans are cold….I had them on the wrong burner the whole time"
Michelle: "What's worse is that I even went in and stirred them"
96. Christine "When I start sweating in my pants, it's time to go"
97. [Grandma is cutting an avacado with 3 knife motions]
"It sounds like my knife is talking to me….it's saying Chi-ca-go……Chi-ca-go"
98. Me: [While sitting in a rocking patio chair] "This chair rocks!"
99. [The people in the room were: Suzanne, Tom, Julia, Dave, Amanda, and her husband GR. Julia and Amanda were pregnant]
Suzanne: "The first one to say "Nana" will get a prize"
GR: "NANA!"
100. Jessica: "Do I need to bring anything"
Me: "Just your pretty smile!"
Jessica: "Hmmm….I'll have to do some digging, I haven't used it in a while"
101. [Were sitting on bleachers watching a kid jump off repeatedly and attack the grass and we're mocking what he's thinking]
Jamie: "Your ass is grass!"
102. Mandy: "Did Budha and Asza get along?"
Me: "Yeah she really liked Asza until she sniffed her butt"
Ken: "I really liked Squanto until he sniffed my butt"
103. Ken: "I'm going to take Tom camping and we're going to hunt, fish, and poop in the woods"
Funny Quotes Part VII
Current mood:excited
90. Tom: "She looks like spaghetti"
91. Anonymous – "I'm making a list of things I'm going to bring"
Me: "Read me the list"
Anonymous "The pipe we got in Amsterdam…..that's the list"
92. Jessica: "My fake boyfriend has a real girlfriend"
93. Dustin "It wasn't because I had a poopy diaper"
94. Me: "It's not hot in your mouth; it's hot in your head"
95. Tony: "Sorry guys, the beans are cold….I had them on the wrong burner the whole time"
Michelle: "What's worse is that I even went in and stirred them"
96. Christine "When I start sweating in my pants, it's time to go"
97. [Grandma is cutting an avacado with 3 knife motions]
"It sounds like my knife is talking to me….it's saying Chi-ca-go……Chi-ca-go"
98. Me: [While sitting in a rocking patio chair] "This chair rocks!"
99. [The people in the room were: Suzanne, Tom, Julia, Dave, Amanda, and her husband GR. Julia and Amanda were pregnant]
Suzanne: "The first one to say "Nana" will get a prize"
GR: "NANA!"
100. Jessica: "Do I need to bring anything"
Me: "Just your pretty smile!"
Jessica: "Hmmm….I'll have to do some digging, I haven't used it in a while"
101. [Were sitting on bleachers watching a kid jump off repeatedly and attack the grass and we're mocking what he's thinking]
Jamie: "Your ass is grass!"
102. Mandy: "Did Budha and Asza get along?"
Me: "Yeah she really liked Asza until she sniffed her butt"
Ken: "I really liked Squanto until he sniffed my butt"
103. Ken: "I'm going to take Tom camping and we're going to hunt, fish, and poop in the woods"
"Just like riding a bike" my ass!
Aug 6, 2008
"Just like riding a bike" my ass!
Current mood:focused
"In my younger days" I rode my bike all the freaking time. Jen and Kathryn, this blog's for you! We'd bike EVERYWHERE!!!! Jen, how many freaking miles did we put on every day. Shit, each other's houses back and forth, Deanna's, Kevins, town. Renee I used to bike to your house and that was quite a freaking haul!!!!! Kathryn, we used to bike to Dorset and get ice cream!! I used to bike all the time, and could go through ditches, stand up no hands, jump off - all that shit! So today my friends, was the first time in AT LEAST 9 years that I have ridden a bike. SHUT UP JULIA!
I packed up my bike in the trunk, and drove down the the Munger (which isn't even far but come on....it's been a long time since I've been on a bike and I didn't want to look foolish on the street. ) So I get there. I park. Take my bike out of the trunk. Stare at it. Go to get on, not enough umph. Try again, same thing. So third time I'm able to get on but I looked like Phoebe in that Friends episode when she learns how to ride a bike - I jerked left, then right, then left in a circle till I almost ran into a parked car!!!!
Then I stopped, got off - looked around to see if anyone saw . Got back on my bike (5th time's a charm) and off I went. After a little while it started to feel normal again, but no standing up, no hands off, no jumping off my bike...maybe in time....I feel so old!! And I was EXHAUSTED after only like 2.5 miles probably!!!!!
But if I do it 3 or 4 times a week - I'll be back to good in no time. Wish I would have gotten my bike here a lot sooner but...whaddya gonna' do?
Enjoy the evening my friends.
"Just like riding a bike" my ass!
Current mood:focused
"In my younger days" I rode my bike all the freaking time. Jen and Kathryn, this blog's for you! We'd bike EVERYWHERE!!!! Jen, how many freaking miles did we put on every day. Shit, each other's houses back and forth, Deanna's, Kevins, town. Renee I used to bike to your house and that was quite a freaking haul!!!!! Kathryn, we used to bike to Dorset and get ice cream!! I used to bike all the time, and could go through ditches, stand up no hands, jump off - all that shit! So today my friends, was the first time in AT LEAST 9 years that I have ridden a bike. SHUT UP JULIA!
I packed up my bike in the trunk, and drove down the the Munger (which isn't even far but come on....it's been a long time since I've been on a bike and I didn't want to look foolish on the street. ) So I get there. I park. Take my bike out of the trunk. Stare at it. Go to get on, not enough umph. Try again, same thing. So third time I'm able to get on but I looked like Phoebe in that Friends episode when she learns how to ride a bike - I jerked left, then right, then left in a circle till I almost ran into a parked car!!!!
Then I stopped, got off - looked around to see if anyone saw . Got back on my bike (5th time's a charm) and off I went. After a little while it started to feel normal again, but no standing up, no hands off, no jumping off my bike...maybe in time....I feel so old!! And I was EXHAUSTED after only like 2.5 miles probably!!!!!
But if I do it 3 or 4 times a week - I'll be back to good in no time. Wish I would have gotten my bike here a lot sooner but...whaddya gonna' do?
Enjoy the evening my friends.
How many turning points are given in a life?
Aug 3, 2008
How many turning points are given in a life?
Current mood:sympathetic
I feel like I'm always trying to better myself....yet never feel that the goal is accomplished. Sometimes I think, I've hit so many turning points in my life....that it just makes a square and I start over.
Sometimes I learn a lesson....and end up learning it all over again a few months/years later. Does that make sense?
I have so many blogs to write - I'm halfway through another that I started last week but it's saved off somewhere.
But let me tell you how this blog came to be. My family was visiting this weekend. It was nice. I cooked us dinner on Friday night. Then....Saturday night we went to dinner, Sunday morning we went to breakfast, and tonight we went to dinner. I was so stuffed I was groaning the entire way home. Going out to eat....3 meals in a row. I felt physically ill. So after everyone was gone, I threw on some stretchy pants :) I was sitting on the couch thinking about how incredibly full I was and what a sloth I looked like. I was watching TLC (one of my favorite channels). First I was watching a show on primidial dwarfism....and it made me realize how early feelings can get hurt. There was this 4 year old boy, and this other boy about his age kneeled down and said "I'm bigger than you" and ran off. Now the bigger boy I'm sure didn't realize that he was the same age, or that there was something wrong, or that he was going to upset him, he's just a little boy himself. The mom went to the little boy (with dwarfism) and told him that it was okay and the little guy pointed at his heart, and then wiped tears from his eyes. It broke my heart! I'm sure he was young enough that he didn't fully understand that he was different....but old enough to know when someone points it out. Just seeing that innocence in that child...triggered something - I don't know what - it's like it opened my mind up to something.
THEN - Then I saw someting I never had seen before. Still watching TLC, it was called "A New Face for Marley". This poor 13 year old girl in Haiti, had a 16 pound growth on her face (fibrous dysplasia). Her face literally looked like a hippo. Her eyes had separated. She had no nose, other that 2 flat nostrils, and she had no mouth, it was all bone mass. Her face was too heavy for her head. She had to carry it in her hands. Their neighbors shunned her and said it was a curse; people called her a monster. The girl had even tried to kill herself. 13. Just a 13 yr old girl, with such a horrible unexplainable deformity, causing her immense pain, almost causing her to go blind, and she could barely breathe. NONE of this by fault of her own.
So where am I going with this? Back to a lesson I already learned. When Jon died...I was so angry with so many people. I was angry at smokers. I was angry and obese people. I was angry at everyone who didn't take care of themselves....and were still allowed to live. All the while, Jon (granted he smoked), seemed in perfect shape and died suddenly. I guess maybe it's not the exact same lesson. That one was more "take care of your life, it's precious". But this one....is really more of "Why do we do this to ourselves?" Here was this poor 13 yr old girl, made a spectacle of by nothing of her own doing. And here we have people who gorge and gorge on food, stick needles in their veins, inhale smoke ON PURPOSE, etc.....and bitch about being sick, tired, fat, lazy, etc... And they do it to themselves. I - I do it to myself. I play some sports - I keep active. But I don't eat healthy - I quit smoking for a long time....then it slowly came back, now it's not so often but it still shouldn't happen at all. Sometimes I think that we [society] is so spoiled....and we take for granted all the choices we have. We just take the easy route, not thinking that for some people...there is no easy route.
Anyway, the story was heartwarming. The girl came to the states and though she still has many surgeries to go...she's a happy girl again. From a girl who had to physically hold her face to keep alive, couldn't eat and constantly had tears falling, to having a couple surgeries but still needing a LOT of reconstructive surgeries.....still looking different....and dancing. Dancing and smiling. And there I was crying for this girl, while sitting on the couch thinking about how full I was....and how I'm going to start running again tomorrow. And you know. I've ran before. I've lost weight, I've gained weight. But....you know - even if I run myself right back into another square and back to the beginning, I think it's better than giving up on goals all together. My point is....I'm never going to be perfect. Not trying to be. No one is. But seeing stories like this just make me feel so guilty for taking life for granted - more than just health reasons, the way we spend, the luxuries in which we bask, not always thinking about people who never will experience these things. And you know, that's not to say that we don't deserve it, but we [I] just need to open our [my] eyes a little wider sometimes.
How many turning points are given in a life?
Current mood:sympathetic
I feel like I'm always trying to better myself....yet never feel that the goal is accomplished. Sometimes I think, I've hit so many turning points in my life....that it just makes a square and I start over.
Sometimes I learn a lesson....and end up learning it all over again a few months/years later. Does that make sense?
I have so many blogs to write - I'm halfway through another that I started last week but it's saved off somewhere.
But let me tell you how this blog came to be. My family was visiting this weekend. It was nice. I cooked us dinner on Friday night. Then....Saturday night we went to dinner, Sunday morning we went to breakfast, and tonight we went to dinner. I was so stuffed I was groaning the entire way home. Going out to eat....3 meals in a row. I felt physically ill. So after everyone was gone, I threw on some stretchy pants :) I was sitting on the couch thinking about how incredibly full I was and what a sloth I looked like. I was watching TLC (one of my favorite channels). First I was watching a show on primidial dwarfism....and it made me realize how early feelings can get hurt. There was this 4 year old boy, and this other boy about his age kneeled down and said "I'm bigger than you" and ran off. Now the bigger boy I'm sure didn't realize that he was the same age, or that there was something wrong, or that he was going to upset him, he's just a little boy himself. The mom went to the little boy (with dwarfism) and told him that it was okay and the little guy pointed at his heart, and then wiped tears from his eyes. It broke my heart! I'm sure he was young enough that he didn't fully understand that he was different....but old enough to know when someone points it out. Just seeing that innocence in that child...triggered something - I don't know what - it's like it opened my mind up to something.
THEN - Then I saw someting I never had seen before. Still watching TLC, it was called "A New Face for Marley". This poor 13 year old girl in Haiti, had a 16 pound growth on her face (fibrous dysplasia). Her face literally looked like a hippo. Her eyes had separated. She had no nose, other that 2 flat nostrils, and she had no mouth, it was all bone mass. Her face was too heavy for her head. She had to carry it in her hands. Their neighbors shunned her and said it was a curse; people called her a monster. The girl had even tried to kill herself. 13. Just a 13 yr old girl, with such a horrible unexplainable deformity, causing her immense pain, almost causing her to go blind, and she could barely breathe. NONE of this by fault of her own.
So where am I going with this? Back to a lesson I already learned. When Jon died...I was so angry with so many people. I was angry at smokers. I was angry and obese people. I was angry at everyone who didn't take care of themselves....and were still allowed to live. All the while, Jon (granted he smoked), seemed in perfect shape and died suddenly. I guess maybe it's not the exact same lesson. That one was more "take care of your life, it's precious". But this one....is really more of "Why do we do this to ourselves?" Here was this poor 13 yr old girl, made a spectacle of by nothing of her own doing. And here we have people who gorge and gorge on food, stick needles in their veins, inhale smoke ON PURPOSE, etc.....and bitch about being sick, tired, fat, lazy, etc... And they do it to themselves. I - I do it to myself. I play some sports - I keep active. But I don't eat healthy - I quit smoking for a long time....then it slowly came back, now it's not so often but it still shouldn't happen at all. Sometimes I think that we [society] is so spoiled....and we take for granted all the choices we have. We just take the easy route, not thinking that for some people...there is no easy route.
Anyway, the story was heartwarming. The girl came to the states and though she still has many surgeries to go...she's a happy girl again. From a girl who had to physically hold her face to keep alive, couldn't eat and constantly had tears falling, to having a couple surgeries but still needing a LOT of reconstructive surgeries.....still looking different....and dancing. Dancing and smiling. And there I was crying for this girl, while sitting on the couch thinking about how full I was....and how I'm going to start running again tomorrow. And you know. I've ran before. I've lost weight, I've gained weight. But....you know - even if I run myself right back into another square and back to the beginning, I think it's better than giving up on goals all together. My point is....I'm never going to be perfect. Not trying to be. No one is. But seeing stories like this just make me feel so guilty for taking life for granted - more than just health reasons, the way we spend, the luxuries in which we bask, not always thinking about people who never will experience these things. And you know, that's not to say that we don't deserve it, but we [I] just need to open our [my] eyes a little wider sometimes.
Funny Peeps Part VI
Jul 8, 2008
Funny Peeps Part VI
Current mood:relaxed
Sorry guys...I know there should be more but it's been so long, I've lost some. :)
80. "It's like our brains know everything but they're keeping it from us." --Mike G.
81. "So…what does everyone here do" -- Anonymous 1
" You mean like…herbal?" -- Anonymous 2
"No….like work" -- Anonymous 1.
82. "I can't even have potatoes in my house, they freak me out." --Maranda
83. "I know you can smack the shit out of someone, but I wish I could smack the stupid out of you." --Maranda's dad
84. "Shut up, puppy bitch" – Maranda's little bro, Cody
85. "We need to quit going to dinner so much, I keep gaining weight!" - Me
"But I'm treating" - Mike
"Yeah, you may be treating but I'm still gaining!" – Me
86. [playing with a warped pool cue] "I've played with a ton of bad sticks before, but this is by far the worst stick I've ever played with." --Me
"Really…I thought I held that title" – Mike
87. "Waaaa" [the way Tom and I always whine] – Me
"You know…I think "waaaa" is overused" – Mike
"You're overused" -- Me
88. "Mike, Root Beer Floats?" --Shelley
"Root Beer Floats on what?" -- Mike G.
89. "My friend dated a guy who had 3 balls" --Me
"Really…well that's….that's….that's fantastic" --Tom
Funny Peeps Part VI
Current mood:relaxed
Sorry guys...I know there should be more but it's been so long, I've lost some. :)
80. "It's like our brains know everything but they're keeping it from us." --Mike G.
81. "So…what does everyone here do" -- Anonymous 1
" You mean like…herbal?" -- Anonymous 2
"No….like work" -- Anonymous 1.
82. "I can't even have potatoes in my house, they freak me out." --Maranda
83. "I know you can smack the shit out of someone, but I wish I could smack the stupid out of you." --Maranda's dad
84. "Shut up, puppy bitch" – Maranda's little bro, Cody
85. "We need to quit going to dinner so much, I keep gaining weight!" - Me
"But I'm treating" - Mike
"Yeah, you may be treating but I'm still gaining!" – Me
86. [playing with a warped pool cue] "I've played with a ton of bad sticks before, but this is by far the worst stick I've ever played with." --Me
"Really…I thought I held that title" – Mike
87. "Waaaa" [the way Tom and I always whine] – Me
"You know…I think "waaaa" is overused" – Mike
"You're overused" -- Me
88. "Mike, Root Beer Floats?" --Shelley
"Root Beer Floats on what?" -- Mike G.
89. "My friend dated a guy who had 3 balls" --Me
"Really…well that's….that's….that's fantastic" --Tom
"Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well" - Eve 6
Jul 6, 2008
"Here’s a toast to all those who hear me all too well" - Eve 6
Current mood:indescribable
Well....a lot happened in an hour and a half. Here I was at noon, sittin' on my couch, watching Spongebob and digging through the Sunday paper. Some of you are going to read this and instantly feel bad because you know how much I hate this....I took my old job back.
I love my job at AMSOIL. They treat me well and I have NO plans on leaving anytime soon. But let's face it. I have a house now, I'm short a roommate, gas prices are making me want to vomit, groceries have increased about 30%....and yes, as a fault of my own...I went crazy from Feb-May and spent more than I ever thought possible on "fun". [sigh]
So I have had a lot of time to think about things and I don't like where I put myself. I'll have a new roommate soon, and I'm not reall concerned about that....but I've decided I want more. I want/need a cushion. Right now I don't have that. So that's why I slumped back down to the level of taking my old shitty cashier part time job back in the worst freaking neighborhood in Duluth.
Ugh....I hate it. But...it's like I said in a blog from a couple years back "Do whatcha gotta' do". I need to just face it and do what I need to do. Plus...I guess I'll get a gas discount so that's a plus.
Wish me luck. No I don't need luck, I just need....to do it I guess. Waaaa.
"Here’s a toast to all those who hear me all too well" - Eve 6
Current mood:indescribable
Well....a lot happened in an hour and a half. Here I was at noon, sittin' on my couch, watching Spongebob and digging through the Sunday paper. Some of you are going to read this and instantly feel bad because you know how much I hate this....I took my old job back.
I love my job at AMSOIL. They treat me well and I have NO plans on leaving anytime soon. But let's face it. I have a house now, I'm short a roommate, gas prices are making me want to vomit, groceries have increased about 30%....and yes, as a fault of my own...I went crazy from Feb-May and spent more than I ever thought possible on "fun". [sigh]
So I have had a lot of time to think about things and I don't like where I put myself. I'll have a new roommate soon, and I'm not reall concerned about that....but I've decided I want more. I want/need a cushion. Right now I don't have that. So that's why I slumped back down to the level of taking my old shitty cashier part time job back in the worst freaking neighborhood in Duluth.
Ugh....I hate it. But...it's like I said in a blog from a couple years back "Do whatcha gotta' do". I need to just face it and do what I need to do. Plus...I guess I'll get a gas discount so that's a plus.
Wish me luck. No I don't need luck, I just need....to do it I guess. Waaaa.
Bug Bites and Blogs
Jul 1, 2008
Bug Bites and Blogs.
Current mood:distractable
Waaaaa!!!!! I have bug bites....on my feet!!!! And I truly feel like it's making me go insane. I keep scratching and walking and trying to distract myself.....but really....I think I really know what it feels like to lose your mind. It's been a while since I've blogged. I have to get a funny quote blog in here, but I think that will probably wait until a little later...we'll see. I do have a couple things to write about though.
A couple weeks ago, my roommate and I went to the Sunshine Cafe for breakfast. I really like this place. The food is not very good (not bad either), the diet coke tastes like syrup, the booths don't match anything including the tables, and the service is like family - not sugary sweet, just there to hand you your stuff. But it's wholesome. The menus are absolutely adorable. They are all created by children, so each one is a pleasure to look at.
So....there we were. Tom was having some swedish pancakes and I was having an english muffin and a terrible diet coke. I saw the waitress (who I'm about 95% sure is the owner) shootin' the breeze with this one customer and they were looking through photo albums. This customer seemed to be "lower class" if you will, with faded shorts, and a faded tank top, messy hair, and a lot of silver teeth. She was sitting 2 booths away, and I looked over the "middle man" and saw that in these photo albums she had tons of beautiful 8x10 photos. The waitress caught my eye and came over with one of the albums, and asked the customer if it was okay that we looked. (I think I even have a bug bite on my face!!!! I'm so itchy!!!!!!!)
So we looked through this photos (all 4 albums) and they were genious! She had beautiful hummingbird photos, pictures of melting ice that looked like a wizard, gorgeous cloud pictures, dragonfly pictures, pictures of the freak fog the day that terrible accident happened on the Bong a few years ago, her pictures were just breathtaking.
She sat down with us and talked to us about her hobby and her favorite pictures. I asked her if she had a website and she said no. I asked her if she sold her pictures and she said "No, I just do this for fun".
I felt like....I had forgot what that was like. I couldn't fathom not making money off of that. She was brilliant. And it looked to me like maybe the money wouldn't hurt, you know? But here she was - just happy to be snapping photos for her own pleasure. It was heartwarming to know that there are still people out there who do things like this for themselves. I feel badly, because if that were me...I'd be working it for a profit. And I hold a very strong respect for her. Like Tous said, that's the way to keep loving what you do. Sometimes if you make work out of what you love...the passion for it goes away. That woman has been stuck in my head for 2 weeks. Good for her.
Okay what else...in a nutshell....having a hell of a time finding a roommate, held a 9 foot snake on Friday, awesome little niece turned 2 and says armadeedo instead of armadillo, Budha likes to dig in the beach sand, and I saw Jon's memorial bench in Leif Erikson Park last night. It's in the perfect spot. It actually kind of snuck up on me...and on the heartstrings. It's been a year and a half....and still sometimes things come up that provides more "proof". I was happy to see the bench in place, just emotional. Damn - I'm itchy everywhere!!!! What if I have some itching disease!?!?!? I've never gotten poison ivy so that must not be it. I was blogging to try and foget about the itching....but I'm still in hell! Itchy Scratchy Hell!
Bug Bites and Blogs.
Current mood:distractable
Waaaaa!!!!! I have bug bites....on my feet!!!! And I truly feel like it's making me go insane. I keep scratching and walking and trying to distract myself.....but really....I think I really know what it feels like to lose your mind. It's been a while since I've blogged. I have to get a funny quote blog in here, but I think that will probably wait until a little later...we'll see. I do have a couple things to write about though.
A couple weeks ago, my roommate and I went to the Sunshine Cafe for breakfast. I really like this place. The food is not very good (not bad either), the diet coke tastes like syrup, the booths don't match anything including the tables, and the service is like family - not sugary sweet, just there to hand you your stuff. But it's wholesome. The menus are absolutely adorable. They are all created by children, so each one is a pleasure to look at.
So....there we were. Tom was having some swedish pancakes and I was having an english muffin and a terrible diet coke. I saw the waitress (who I'm about 95% sure is the owner) shootin' the breeze with this one customer and they were looking through photo albums. This customer seemed to be "lower class" if you will, with faded shorts, and a faded tank top, messy hair, and a lot of silver teeth. She was sitting 2 booths away, and I looked over the "middle man" and saw that in these photo albums she had tons of beautiful 8x10 photos. The waitress caught my eye and came over with one of the albums, and asked the customer if it was okay that we looked. (I think I even have a bug bite on my face!!!! I'm so itchy!!!!!!!)
So we looked through this photos (all 4 albums) and they were genious! She had beautiful hummingbird photos, pictures of melting ice that looked like a wizard, gorgeous cloud pictures, dragonfly pictures, pictures of the freak fog the day that terrible accident happened on the Bong a few years ago, her pictures were just breathtaking.
She sat down with us and talked to us about her hobby and her favorite pictures. I asked her if she had a website and she said no. I asked her if she sold her pictures and she said "No, I just do this for fun".
I felt like....I had forgot what that was like. I couldn't fathom not making money off of that. She was brilliant. And it looked to me like maybe the money wouldn't hurt, you know? But here she was - just happy to be snapping photos for her own pleasure. It was heartwarming to know that there are still people out there who do things like this for themselves. I feel badly, because if that were me...I'd be working it for a profit. And I hold a very strong respect for her. Like Tous said, that's the way to keep loving what you do. Sometimes if you make work out of what you love...the passion for it goes away. That woman has been stuck in my head for 2 weeks. Good for her.
Okay what else...in a nutshell....having a hell of a time finding a roommate, held a 9 foot snake on Friday, awesome little niece turned 2 and says armadeedo instead of armadillo, Budha likes to dig in the beach sand, and I saw Jon's memorial bench in Leif Erikson Park last night. It's in the perfect spot. It actually kind of snuck up on me...and on the heartstrings. It's been a year and a half....and still sometimes things come up that provides more "proof". I was happy to see the bench in place, just emotional. Damn - I'm itchy everywhere!!!! What if I have some itching disease!?!?!? I've never gotten poison ivy so that must not be it. I was blogging to try and foget about the itching....but I'm still in hell! Itchy Scratchy Hell!
Things I've Learned
Jun 12, 2008
Things I’ve learned
Current mood:thoughtful
A list of things I've learned in this life. Sometimes by my own mistakes, some by others' mistakes, some just in general lessons, etc....
Wearing elephant pants and heels is a trap for tripping yourself going upstairs.
Time really is the healer of all wounds (even though in some times a scar will be left)
(for myself anyway) The drunker I get....the better I really DO dance...but then if I drink beyond that point...the worse and more ridiculous the dancing becomes.
A best friend can always bring out the bright side of your soul, even when you think there is none.
Holla Julia! (thought I'd forget, didn't you?)
Be careful when you really want something. Find out why you want it first - (a man (or woman), clothes, cheesecake, alcohol, etc...) Do you REALLY want these particular things.....or are you just filling a void?
Try not to show a strange dog fear.
If you buy some new yoga pants because your old ones have paint on them...don't paint in the new ones you just bought.
Drunken texting the opposite sex....is only funny on the first accidental occurrence.
When stepping on something sharp, the problem only temporarily goes away if you throw the object back onto the floor.
Our bodies tells us when something isn't right. Listen.
Our mind/conscience tells us when something isn't right. Listen.
Our mind also tells us when it's not sure of something. Take the chance once in a while.
Make new friends, even if you've had the same ones for years and love them, never stop meeting new people.
People need to be allowed to make their own mistakes.
If you are going to complain about someone/something....make sure it's really that person/thing....and not just you having a bad day.
If you've spent more than $50 at the bar on yourself, regardless of your tolerance, you will not pass a breathalizer.
Along the same lines....you don't have to be swirving or reckless to get a DUI, a busted taillight would be enough to put you at risk of getting one.
If you withdraw a certain amount of money for the evening....there's a reason for it. Don't go back to the ATM.
Just because it's meat, does not mean that it needs "a side of bleu cheese"....or does it???? (still workin on this one)
If you have a bad feeling that something is going to happen, change your ways.
People who wait for you to leave your parking spot...before you're even in your car....deserve the long stretch, flipping of the radio station, checking hair in the mirror, lighting a cigarette, dialing a cell phone, s.l.o.w. exit.
If you have an extra $100, or $50, or even $10...put it in the bank, instead of saying "Ohhhh what I am going to spend this on?"
APPRECIATE music....the lyrics, the words, the voices. Some songs only have one of those good qualities (if any) but respect that quality. And the ones that have it all.....bask in it.
If you want others to hear your point or your view, respect the same for them.
With a multicolored dog, no clothing is safe.
If you have a lot of ideas in your head....start them one at a time...you know...I guess it's like the "all eggs in one basket" cliche.
Doing chores on a weekend....can really make a person feel good about themselves.
Excersizing, or just being active will make you feel good.
I will never be able to spell exersizing right on the first (or even 2nd??) try.
If you invite someone to an event....mean it.
The electric rod in an oven gets HOT the INSTANT you turn the oven on.
Push mowers are a great workout but horrible grasscutters.
Dandelions really do duck when you're mowing. Bastards.
Don't wait until it's too late (whatever is on your mind is what I'm referring to).
No one including yourself, should deny you the right to smile, laugh, or even cry.
If the directions say to wait so many hours....then wait so many hours, don't try cheat your way through. You'll be much happier with the results.
Sometimes just eye contact and facial expressions can be the sexiest form of conversation.
If someone is acting out of character...look at the bigger picture of what may be going on in their life, and try to understand.
If you can break a bad habit for 5 days, you can break it all together.
Trust your instincts...even in desperate situations.
Things I’ve learned
Current mood:thoughtful
A list of things I've learned in this life. Sometimes by my own mistakes, some by others' mistakes, some just in general lessons, etc....
Wearing elephant pants and heels is a trap for tripping yourself going upstairs.
Time really is the healer of all wounds (even though in some times a scar will be left)
(for myself anyway) The drunker I get....the better I really DO dance...but then if I drink beyond that point...the worse and more ridiculous the dancing becomes.
A best friend can always bring out the bright side of your soul, even when you think there is none.
Holla Julia! (thought I'd forget, didn't you?)
Be careful when you really want something. Find out why you want it first - (a man (or woman), clothes, cheesecake, alcohol, etc...) Do you REALLY want these particular things.....or are you just filling a void?
Try not to show a strange dog fear.
If you buy some new yoga pants because your old ones have paint on them...don't paint in the new ones you just bought.
Drunken texting the opposite sex....is only funny on the first accidental occurrence.
When stepping on something sharp, the problem only temporarily goes away if you throw the object back onto the floor.
Our bodies tells us when something isn't right. Listen.
Our mind/conscience tells us when something isn't right. Listen.
Our mind also tells us when it's not sure of something. Take the chance once in a while.
Make new friends, even if you've had the same ones for years and love them, never stop meeting new people.
People need to be allowed to make their own mistakes.
If you are going to complain about someone/something....make sure it's really that person/thing....and not just you having a bad day.
If you've spent more than $50 at the bar on yourself, regardless of your tolerance, you will not pass a breathalizer.
Along the same lines....you don't have to be swirving or reckless to get a DUI, a busted taillight would be enough to put you at risk of getting one.
If you withdraw a certain amount of money for the evening....there's a reason for it. Don't go back to the ATM.
Just because it's meat, does not mean that it needs "a side of bleu cheese"....or does it???? (still workin on this one)
If you have a bad feeling that something is going to happen, change your ways.
People who wait for you to leave your parking spot...before you're even in your car....deserve the long stretch, flipping of the radio station, checking hair in the mirror, lighting a cigarette, dialing a cell phone, s.l.o.w. exit.
If you have an extra $100, or $50, or even $10...put it in the bank, instead of saying "Ohhhh what I am going to spend this on?"
APPRECIATE music....the lyrics, the words, the voices. Some songs only have one of those good qualities (if any) but respect that quality. And the ones that have it all.....bask in it.
If you want others to hear your point or your view, respect the same for them.
With a multicolored dog, no clothing is safe.
If you have a lot of ideas in your head....start them one at a time...you know...I guess it's like the "all eggs in one basket" cliche.
Doing chores on a weekend....can really make a person feel good about themselves.
Excersizing, or just being active will make you feel good.
I will never be able to spell exersizing right on the first (or even 2nd??) try.
If you invite someone to an event....mean it.
The electric rod in an oven gets HOT the INSTANT you turn the oven on.
Push mowers are a great workout but horrible grasscutters.
Dandelions really do duck when you're mowing. Bastards.
Don't wait until it's too late (whatever is on your mind is what I'm referring to).
No one including yourself, should deny you the right to smile, laugh, or even cry.
If the directions say to wait so many hours....then wait so many hours, don't try cheat your way through. You'll be much happier with the results.
Sometimes just eye contact and facial expressions can be the sexiest form of conversation.
If someone is acting out of character...look at the bigger picture of what may be going on in their life, and try to understand.
If you can break a bad habit for 5 days, you can break it all together.
Trust your instincts...even in desperate situations.
KMart and Sunburns
Jun 2, 2008
Kmart and Sunburns
Current mood:hyper
Now....I had a great day today, and I'm not mad, nor am I in a bad mood. But I have to get these two things off my chest.
1st...Not only do I HATE Kmart to begin with, but I ESPECIALLY hate the one by my house. It is the most ghettotrocious place ever. So "why does she go there?" I hear my readers ask. Dog food. That's really it. It's like 6 blocks (if that) from my house and they have my baby's food.
I mean...this is how it is, not just sometimes but every mother f-ing time. I go to this freakulous establishment off the frontage road that confuses the hell out of tourists. 1/2 the parking lot is taken by their stupid greenhouse thing, while about 1/8 of it is shopping carts everywhere but where they should be. Every person felt it was their civil duty to drive like an absolute asshole, while slouched down with wrinkled T shirts, on their cell phone, with a cigarette hanging out of their mouth (and I'm talking females here....that's just unattractive). I walk in. No wait....I walk up to the "automatic doors" and I stand there for a moment until they slowly make their way open (there's no alternate way in). I start heading for the dog food and notice a big ladder with like 3 bins filled with water that's coming from the ceiling. I grab my dog food, and while I'm there, I grab a big pack of toilet paper and some febreeze noticable refills. I start making my way back to the ONE - the ONE mother f-ing line that's open, and I'm behind like 4 people. The first one of course has all sorts of trouble with the credit card thing (probably using an EBT card). EVERYONE looks like they either belong in West Virginia or look like leatherfaced methheads or both. So FINALLY (this is a first!) a second lane opens....where this woman had to argue forever about her pants that rang up as 14.95 and they were on the "sale" rack and they should have been cheaper. Then I finally get up to the register where the checkout woman is the same woman who was there last time I got food who told me all about how she's eaten alligator, and wild boar, and octupus, and how she was so jealous that one time I had snake (which I instantly regretted telling her) and she was a FREAK who had to one up everything. And to top it off I hate the 3 foot long receips they f-ing give you. What a waste of paper.
2nd: Sunburn: Be warned....do NOT be this person. Maranda, back me up here, seesta. I hate - I hate it. I cannot fathom even why people ask this question. So everyone take a good look at this, and question if you are one of these people. And if you are.....STOP! If I have a sunburn, why on earth would you ask "How did you do that?" Or "What did you do?" Well genious....it's a "sun...burn"....clearly only the obvious thing has happened. I was sitting in my living room when the sun came crashing down through my ceiling and fell right on me!!!! It's like if it's raining outside and you walk in and someone says "why are you all wet?" Uhh.....seriously? So today, only one person asked me about my sunburn but I know that others asked Maranda and I'm glad we're on the same page with this. If that person wants to know why you're sunburned...it's obvious that you were in the f-ing sun....and if they want more information, too freaking bad - it's not their business. And they only seem to care when you're sunburned. If you come in after a partly cloudy weekend, no one is going to say "Did you spend time outside? What did you do out there? How long were you out there?" It's like someone asking you "how did you bite your cheek?" Seriously - ummm...I was biting...and then...there was my cheek. Genious.
Okay, I'm not mad....really! I just don't understand some things - like the sunburn question, and....Kmart.
Hope everyone had a great Monday!
Kmart and Sunburns
Current mood:hyper
Now....I had a great day today, and I'm not mad, nor am I in a bad mood. But I have to get these two things off my chest.
1st...Not only do I HATE Kmart to begin with, but I ESPECIALLY hate the one by my house. It is the most ghettotrocious place ever. So "why does she go there?" I hear my readers ask. Dog food. That's really it. It's like 6 blocks (if that) from my house and they have my baby's food.
I mean...this is how it is, not just sometimes but every mother f-ing time. I go to this freakulous establishment off the frontage road that confuses the hell out of tourists. 1/2 the parking lot is taken by their stupid greenhouse thing, while about 1/8 of it is shopping carts everywhere but where they should be. Every person felt it was their civil duty to drive like an absolute asshole, while slouched down with wrinkled T shirts, on their cell phone, with a cigarette hanging out of their mouth (and I'm talking females here....that's just unattractive). I walk in. No wait....I walk up to the "automatic doors" and I stand there for a moment until they slowly make their way open (there's no alternate way in). I start heading for the dog food and notice a big ladder with like 3 bins filled with water that's coming from the ceiling. I grab my dog food, and while I'm there, I grab a big pack of toilet paper and some febreeze noticable refills. I start making my way back to the ONE - the ONE mother f-ing line that's open, and I'm behind like 4 people. The first one of course has all sorts of trouble with the credit card thing (probably using an EBT card). EVERYONE looks like they either belong in West Virginia or look like leatherfaced methheads or both. So FINALLY (this is a first!) a second lane opens....where this woman had to argue forever about her pants that rang up as 14.95 and they were on the "sale" rack and they should have been cheaper. Then I finally get up to the register where the checkout woman is the same woman who was there last time I got food who told me all about how she's eaten alligator, and wild boar, and octupus, and how she was so jealous that one time I had snake (which I instantly regretted telling her) and she was a FREAK who had to one up everything. And to top it off I hate the 3 foot long receips they f-ing give you. What a waste of paper.
2nd: Sunburn: Be warned....do NOT be this person. Maranda, back me up here, seesta. I hate - I hate it. I cannot fathom even why people ask this question. So everyone take a good look at this, and question if you are one of these people. And if you are.....STOP! If I have a sunburn, why on earth would you ask "How did you do that?" Or "What did you do?" Well genious....it's a "sun...burn"....clearly only the obvious thing has happened. I was sitting in my living room when the sun came crashing down through my ceiling and fell right on me!!!! It's like if it's raining outside and you walk in and someone says "why are you all wet?" Uhh.....seriously? So today, only one person asked me about my sunburn but I know that others asked Maranda and I'm glad we're on the same page with this. If that person wants to know why you're sunburned...it's obvious that you were in the f-ing sun....and if they want more information, too freaking bad - it's not their business. And they only seem to care when you're sunburned. If you come in after a partly cloudy weekend, no one is going to say "Did you spend time outside? What did you do out there? How long were you out there?" It's like someone asking you "how did you bite your cheek?" Seriously - ummm...I was biting...and then...there was my cheek. Genious.
Okay, I'm not mad....really! I just don't understand some things - like the sunburn question, and....Kmart.
Hope everyone had a great Monday!
Proud of Myself!
May 31, 2008
Proud of myself!
Current mood:accomplished
Check the day. Check the time. Saturday Night. 11:04 pm. Here I am!!! I feel SO accomplished today! I am being very good this weekend. It took over 5 months to stay my ass home on a weekend....but I did it. And I feel good! Last night was Friday. I got home, saw that my one roommate had moved out, and my other one is still in Costa Rica. So I had the house to myself. I stained the last two pieces in the dining room.....and I don't really know what else I did. Then...today I woke up fairly early, threw on a tank and some yoga pants....and took Budha on my new "ass" walk. I call it this because it sucks ass, and it's SO good FOR my ass. It's a 3 mile walk. 1.5 straight, .5 downhill and 1 mile up that beastly ASS hill. So then I came home and mowed the lawn. Now it's true that those push mowers are a good workout...but they suck ASS at cutting the grass (I should have called this blog "Ass"). So THEN....I sat out on the deck for about another hour and read part of a book on dreams. La Di Da....Then I started polying those two pieces in the dining room ....one more coat and that room is DONE!!!! Well....I guess I still need the shoe moulding but that will be okay.... THEN.....I worked on stripping the paint at the top of the stairs and my point is that I freaking ROCK! I seriously did a lot today. AND...I got a pretty itchy sunburn. :( But it's not terrible. Should be better by tomorrow night I'm sure. I wonder what Regis Philbin sounded like as a child. I bet he got picked on for that stuffy nasaly voice. That was random I know...but he was just on some Sweet N Low commercial. So I've decided to go to Utah on August 21st to visit the grandma. Still lookin for a new roommate. Lovin' the progress I've made on my house. Trying not to go out/drink so much. Exercising more. "The times they are a changin". HEY! Look at that the music part of the blog is back! But...I'm not listening to music....okay I'm rambling.
Proud of myself!
Current mood:accomplished
Check the day. Check the time. Saturday Night. 11:04 pm. Here I am!!! I feel SO accomplished today! I am being very good this weekend. It took over 5 months to stay my ass home on a weekend....but I did it. And I feel good! Last night was Friday. I got home, saw that my one roommate had moved out, and my other one is still in Costa Rica. So I had the house to myself. I stained the last two pieces in the dining room.....and I don't really know what else I did. Then...today I woke up fairly early, threw on a tank and some yoga pants....and took Budha on my new "ass" walk. I call it this because it sucks ass, and it's SO good FOR my ass. It's a 3 mile walk. 1.5 straight, .5 downhill and 1 mile up that beastly ASS hill. So then I came home and mowed the lawn. Now it's true that those push mowers are a good workout...but they suck ASS at cutting the grass (I should have called this blog "Ass"). So THEN....I sat out on the deck for about another hour and read part of a book on dreams. La Di Da....Then I started polying those two pieces in the dining room ....one more coat and that room is DONE!!!! Well....I guess I still need the shoe moulding but that will be okay.... THEN.....I worked on stripping the paint at the top of the stairs and my point is that I freaking ROCK! I seriously did a lot today. AND...I got a pretty itchy sunburn. :( But it's not terrible. Should be better by tomorrow night I'm sure. I wonder what Regis Philbin sounded like as a child. I bet he got picked on for that stuffy nasaly voice. That was random I know...but he was just on some Sweet N Low commercial. So I've decided to go to Utah on August 21st to visit the grandma. Still lookin for a new roommate. Lovin' the progress I've made on my house. Trying not to go out/drink so much. Exercising more. "The times they are a changin". HEY! Look at that the music part of the blog is back! But...I'm not listening to music....okay I'm rambling.
Funny Peeps Part V
May 20, 2008
Funny Peeps (Part V)
Current mood:tired
68. Tom: "Squeaky eyes sound like oatmeal"
69. (discussion: Talking about the package we have to build at work, but sometimes people are on the system on Friday nights)
Steve C: "You must have to be psycho to be working late on a Friday night"
Me: "Steve, we are the ones who have to be working these Friday nights"
Steve C: "That's different…we're psycho to begin with"
70. Me: "If you don't tell him how many bristles are in the broom, he'll refuse to sweep"
71. Tous: "Yeah, he's been partying a lot lately; he finally took off his grandpa pants"
72. (talking about going into the ditch when he was 17…water pouring into the car…said in a very lax tone)
Jesse: "So I woke up my homie and he said 'Where are we?' and I said "In a ditch somewhere man….'bout to drown"
73. (parking at the theatre)
Scott: "Oh my god – this is the closest spot I've ever gotten to anything, anywhere…ever"
74. (when Julia was gone and Dave had Hailey all weekend)
Christa: "Dave, what's up with Hailey's hair?"
Dave (serious): " I don't know…I think Julia brushes it…every day"
75. Me: "In high school we had to watch "E.T." in Spanish. It was pronounced "Ay.Tay."
Maranda: "How do you say telephone?"
Me: "telephono"
Maranda: "ET telephono mi homo!"
76. Me: "Wouldn't it be great if everything I said came true? Wait…maybe not"
Mike G: "What if you said 'ah, crap!' Then you'd say 'what's that smell?'"
77. (after I explained to Julia how I exaggerate by using the word "ass" like "she's parked ass close to my car")
Julia: "You are an ass tool"
78. Anonymous: "We have to go see a marriage counselor in the morning"
Me: "Is this the first time you've gone?"
Anonymous: "With this guy."
79. Steve: "Imagine if you watched TV, but everything took place in the future…then by the time it happened, you already had lived it" (more in depth than this)
Higgins: "that would be like….Deja vu vision"
Funny Peeps (Part V)
Current mood:tired
68. Tom: "Squeaky eyes sound like oatmeal"
69. (discussion: Talking about the package we have to build at work, but sometimes people are on the system on Friday nights)
Steve C: "You must have to be psycho to be working late on a Friday night"
Me: "Steve, we are the ones who have to be working these Friday nights"
Steve C: "That's different…we're psycho to begin with"
70. Me: "If you don't tell him how many bristles are in the broom, he'll refuse to sweep"
71. Tous: "Yeah, he's been partying a lot lately; he finally took off his grandpa pants"
72. (talking about going into the ditch when he was 17…water pouring into the car…said in a very lax tone)
Jesse: "So I woke up my homie and he said 'Where are we?' and I said "In a ditch somewhere man….'bout to drown"
73. (parking at the theatre)
Scott: "Oh my god – this is the closest spot I've ever gotten to anything, anywhere…ever"
74. (when Julia was gone and Dave had Hailey all weekend)
Christa: "Dave, what's up with Hailey's hair?"
Dave (serious): " I don't know…I think Julia brushes it…every day"
75. Me: "In high school we had to watch "E.T." in Spanish. It was pronounced "Ay.Tay."
Maranda: "How do you say telephone?"
Me: "telephono"
Maranda: "ET telephono mi homo!"
76. Me: "Wouldn't it be great if everything I said came true? Wait…maybe not"
Mike G: "What if you said 'ah, crap!' Then you'd say 'what's that smell?'"
77. (after I explained to Julia how I exaggerate by using the word "ass" like "she's parked ass close to my car")
Julia: "You are an ass tool"
78. Anonymous: "We have to go see a marriage counselor in the morning"
Me: "Is this the first time you've gone?"
Anonymous: "With this guy."
79. Steve: "Imagine if you watched TV, but everything took place in the future…then by the time it happened, you already had lived it" (more in depth than this)
Higgins: "that would be like….Deja vu vision"
Holy Habanero! I've finally met my match!
May 19, 2008
Holy Habanero! I’ve finally met my match!
Current mood:hot
For any of you who REALLY know me....you know how I like my spicy things! We all know someone like this, maybe you, too, are one of these people. Load on the tobasco! Load on the jalepenos! I even use jalepeno mustard on my sandwiches. My spaghetti sauce...is torture for many, but pleasure for many as well and I use habanero peppers in it. Well today...Tom and I were grilling and I thought..."Oooohhhhh I've never put habanero peppers on a burger before!" Holy Hell!!!! I had to leave the table, bust open a bag of chips, slam a beer, grab another beer, and now it's been - I don't know -10-15 minutes later....and my lips STILL feel like they are going to fall off of my face!!!
So it finally happened....I've been beaten! I've been beaten by the habanero pepper! I don't think you understand. I have never wussed out on the spicy. And I actually had to rip the burger apart and take out the pepper slices. I have been defeated.
That's all I have to say. That's all this blog will be. I will be sitting here making out with my beer can trying to cool off the lips. Enjoy that image.
Holy Habanero! I’ve finally met my match!
Current mood:hot
For any of you who REALLY know me....you know how I like my spicy things! We all know someone like this, maybe you, too, are one of these people. Load on the tobasco! Load on the jalepenos! I even use jalepeno mustard on my sandwiches. My spaghetti sauce...is torture for many, but pleasure for many as well and I use habanero peppers in it. Well today...Tom and I were grilling and I thought..."Oooohhhhh I've never put habanero peppers on a burger before!" Holy Hell!!!! I had to leave the table, bust open a bag of chips, slam a beer, grab another beer, and now it's been - I don't know -10-15 minutes later....and my lips STILL feel like they are going to fall off of my face!!!
So it finally happened....I've been beaten! I've been beaten by the habanero pepper! I don't think you understand. I have never wussed out on the spicy. And I actually had to rip the burger apart and take out the pepper slices. I have been defeated.
That's all I have to say. That's all this blog will be. I will be sitting here making out with my beer can trying to cool off the lips. Enjoy that image.
I'm GRUMPY!
May 15, 2008
I’m GRUMPY!
Current mood:grumpy
Not really any "specific" reason...but as today went on...I got grumpier and grumpier...and it wasn't a bad day. (however I did just laugh at Scrubs...so it's not terrible).
Anyway...woke up, got dressed, felt well rested for once..good. The morning...busy...good. Lunch...good.
Budha was grumpy this morning. She didn't sleep in my room...and was pouty. And she STILL looks pouty with me!!!! WTF?
Then I had to give this presentation, and on the way there, I got stopped by a train....so that stressed me out...then I got there and the guy presenting before me was still going...so that was good and I was hoping he'd go another 5-10 minutes but he went for 20!!!! So I only had 10 (well actually 7) minutes to try and cover everything.
Then I came back to the main bldg where we had our weekly status meeting....and I don't know why....I just was in a bad mood during it. Well, I do know why but it's not for a blog.
Then I come out and my friend had emailed me all upset because of something going on between her and one of our other friends. Now I understand her reason for being upset, but because of it...she's quitting volleyball (now it's not ONLY because of that, that she's quitting...she also has very little time) but it just sucks because A) she's the one who organized the team B) it's drama. People have their moments, everyone does. You work it out, you get past it. ARGH!
Yesterday I was sanding the moulding down and the sander caught on something so as I was searching for it...I found it - big ass staple right in my fingertip...so that has been annoying all day.
Roommate searching - argh! I found someone - well here's my thing - I think I have the perfect plan....but I'm very impatient. I found a roommate who I think will work out great! However (if he accepts the offer) he wouldn't move in till Aug 1. But I figured it would be worth it cause I really have a good feeling. THEN today I find a girl who needs a place ONLY for June and July....what could BE more perfect!?!?!? But no responses from either yet and so I'm riding the edge of the anxiety train!!!!
I'm waiting for that mother f-ing Economic Stimulus check that SHOULD have been Direct Deposited on the SECOND!!!! But they screwed something up - surprise surprise.
I want to go to this party on Saturday, but no one will go with me. I would go by myself if I had been to this house before, but I haven't...and I don't think I'll know many people there. Even if I have to go by myself, I will...but I want someone to come with. Steve, if you're reading this...I plan on being there regardless.
As soon as I stepped outside (AWAY from work BEAUTIFUL day) I just felt annoyed. Then I came home and both my roommates were home...which is totally fine, but I just felt like I needed a little "me time".
I think mostly I'm just anxious about things. Nothing in specific. Plus....even though the "grounding" failed last week - as I went out on Friday night....I haven't been out since - not even for one! Some of you may be saying "wow - 6 whole days BFD" but if you've been around me the last few months - you'll know that's a GOOD THING! Maybe....I don't know. Wasn't a bad day....just anxious about shit.
I'm gonng go grill up some potatos.
I’m GRUMPY!
Current mood:grumpy
Not really any "specific" reason...but as today went on...I got grumpier and grumpier...and it wasn't a bad day. (however I did just laugh at Scrubs...so it's not terrible).
Anyway...woke up, got dressed, felt well rested for once..good. The morning...busy...good. Lunch...good.
Budha was grumpy this morning. She didn't sleep in my room...and was pouty. And she STILL looks pouty with me!!!! WTF?
Then I had to give this presentation, and on the way there, I got stopped by a train....so that stressed me out...then I got there and the guy presenting before me was still going...so that was good and I was hoping he'd go another 5-10 minutes but he went for 20!!!! So I only had 10 (well actually 7) minutes to try and cover everything.
Then I came back to the main bldg where we had our weekly status meeting....and I don't know why....I just was in a bad mood during it. Well, I do know why but it's not for a blog.
Then I come out and my friend had emailed me all upset because of something going on between her and one of our other friends. Now I understand her reason for being upset, but because of it...she's quitting volleyball (now it's not ONLY because of that, that she's quitting...she also has very little time) but it just sucks because A) she's the one who organized the team B) it's drama. People have their moments, everyone does. You work it out, you get past it. ARGH!
Yesterday I was sanding the moulding down and the sander caught on something so as I was searching for it...I found it - big ass staple right in my fingertip...so that has been annoying all day.
Roommate searching - argh! I found someone - well here's my thing - I think I have the perfect plan....but I'm very impatient. I found a roommate who I think will work out great! However (if he accepts the offer) he wouldn't move in till Aug 1. But I figured it would be worth it cause I really have a good feeling. THEN today I find a girl who needs a place ONLY for June and July....what could BE more perfect!?!?!? But no responses from either yet and so I'm riding the edge of the anxiety train!!!!
I'm waiting for that mother f-ing Economic Stimulus check that SHOULD have been Direct Deposited on the SECOND!!!! But they screwed something up - surprise surprise.
I want to go to this party on Saturday, but no one will go with me. I would go by myself if I had been to this house before, but I haven't...and I don't think I'll know many people there. Even if I have to go by myself, I will...but I want someone to come with. Steve, if you're reading this...I plan on being there regardless.
As soon as I stepped outside (AWAY from work BEAUTIFUL day) I just felt annoyed. Then I came home and both my roommates were home...which is totally fine, but I just felt like I needed a little "me time".
I think mostly I'm just anxious about things. Nothing in specific. Plus....even though the "grounding" failed last week - as I went out on Friday night....I haven't been out since - not even for one! Some of you may be saying "wow - 6 whole days BFD" but if you've been around me the last few months - you'll know that's a GOOD THING! Maybe....I don't know. Wasn't a bad day....just anxious about shit.
I'm gonng go grill up some potatos.
Almost finished something!
May 11, 2008
Almost finished something!
Current mood:accomplished
So yesterday was a rough and lazy day. I was out late on Friday (but I only was out once this weekend/week...). We were out till about 2:30....THEN I had to get up at 8 for the Animal Allies Walk yesterday. ARGH!!!! I was NOT happy about getting up that early. So the walk went well, and then when I came home...I completely crashed. In fact all I accomplished was eating some popcorn, and laying on the couch. Yes...I laid on the couch all freaking day. Finally at 6 I got in the shower, and went to a movie with a friend of mine. Afterward, though I wanted to go out...I went home. Geeked out on the internet for a while then I went to bed. Today I didn't get out of bed until 11. Right away I was annoyed because there are just so many things that I want to do in my house....and the last time something was "finished" was probably when we painted the living room....in October I think it was. So...last summer I started stripping the paint from all the moulding, stairs and a couple window casings. All in all it is about 80% stripped. So today...I went up to Harbor Freight Tools, and bought myself a new heat gun (burned out the other one). From 12:00 to 6:00 I sat on the dining room floor and got all those pesky little white specs off the moulding. It looks great!!!!! My back flippin' hurts though, but....it's awesome!!!! If I can sand it down lightly either tomorrow or Tuesday...Then I can stain it on Saturday!!! Then I will have one whole room completely done!!!! Unless I have to buy a couple replacement boards that aren't cooperating....but that doesn't count. I feel much better about actually accomplishing something on my weekend. Totally worth it. I can't wait for it to be done. Maybe by the end of this week, I'll have the living room done too! Doubt that though, but we'll see. YEA! I have a lot of projects to do now. Like clean my room (yes....at this point it is considered a "project"), clean porch, put up fluted moulding between living room and dining room....it's going to be awesome. That's all I have to say now. Hope everyone's weekend was good.
Almost finished something!
Current mood:accomplished
So yesterday was a rough and lazy day. I was out late on Friday (but I only was out once this weekend/week...). We were out till about 2:30....THEN I had to get up at 8 for the Animal Allies Walk yesterday. ARGH!!!! I was NOT happy about getting up that early. So the walk went well, and then when I came home...I completely crashed. In fact all I accomplished was eating some popcorn, and laying on the couch. Yes...I laid on the couch all freaking day. Finally at 6 I got in the shower, and went to a movie with a friend of mine. Afterward, though I wanted to go out...I went home. Geeked out on the internet for a while then I went to bed. Today I didn't get out of bed until 11. Right away I was annoyed because there are just so many things that I want to do in my house....and the last time something was "finished" was probably when we painted the living room....in October I think it was. So...last summer I started stripping the paint from all the moulding, stairs and a couple window casings. All in all it is about 80% stripped. So today...I went up to Harbor Freight Tools, and bought myself a new heat gun (burned out the other one). From 12:00 to 6:00 I sat on the dining room floor and got all those pesky little white specs off the moulding. It looks great!!!!! My back flippin' hurts though, but....it's awesome!!!! If I can sand it down lightly either tomorrow or Tuesday...Then I can stain it on Saturday!!! Then I will have one whole room completely done!!!! Unless I have to buy a couple replacement boards that aren't cooperating....but that doesn't count. I feel much better about actually accomplishing something on my weekend. Totally worth it. I can't wait for it to be done. Maybe by the end of this week, I'll have the living room done too! Doubt that though, but we'll see. YEA! I have a lot of projects to do now. Like clean my room (yes....at this point it is considered a "project"), clean porch, put up fluted moulding between living room and dining room....it's going to be awesome. That's all I have to say now. Hope everyone's weekend was good.
Time to Straighten Up
May 5, 2008
Time to straighten up
Current mood:determined
Ugh. Blah day. B.L.A.H. I am incredibly stressed all by my own doing. I know it's going to work out. And it will all work out within a couple months, but for right now....I can't help but feel....bad about how I've acted the last few months...well since 2008 started. Regret? Nah. But yet another life's learning experience. It's absolutely unreal...how expensive it is to go out every weekend (or multiple times a week!!!). January - Fun! February - Fun!! March - FUN!!! April - Kind of went downhill. Did I still have fun? Sure, I guess I did. Now it's May. I remember back when I said "March 1st I have to settle down", then I said "When I get back from Milwaukee...time to settle down", Then it was "After bowling is over...time to settle down" - and now we're another month passed. Here we are in May, I have a roommate moving out, and bills piling up...and I can not believe the way I have been spending and "actin' a fool!" Interrupting thought - I actually like the show "George Lopez" - I think it's pretty funny. Anyway....I've had fun. I've met a LOT of new friends in the last few months. And I just need to realize that just because I don't go out one weekend...the world is not going to end, and my friends are not going to forget about me. Isn't that silly?!!? Last Saturday, I was exhausted!!!! But yet I managed to drink a jagbomb, do my makeup and head out. So yesterday (Sunday) I was very lazy in the afternoon. I was annoyed when I saw all my drunken texts to a friend of mine (but at least it's been a while since that has happened), I was annoyed at how tired I was, and I was really annoyed when I looked in my wallet! Then this morning....I realized....I was STILL annoyed. Tonight....yep....still annoyed. But....I think I'll be alright. People have said some things that have stuck in my head recently, my grandmother wants me to visit, I have to find a new roommate, and it just all comes together. So...another random thought to interrupt...Jon had never seen ET. Isn't that strange? So...back to my point. I might be strugglin' for 3-6 weeks....BUT it'll all be worth it. Things have to get worse before they get better, right? "Sigh". Wish me luck! If anyone wants to hang out with me at home this weekend...come on over!!! Gonna' be a hard habit to break!!! But I'll do it. As a blog I once wrote said 'Do whatcha gotta' do'. Maybe have to listen to myself for a while. (I don't know why the clam...just seemed to fit)
And....was listening to Widespread Panic "Til the Medicine Takes"
Time to straighten up
Current mood:determined
Ugh. Blah day. B.L.A.H. I am incredibly stressed all by my own doing. I know it's going to work out. And it will all work out within a couple months, but for right now....I can't help but feel....bad about how I've acted the last few months...well since 2008 started. Regret? Nah. But yet another life's learning experience. It's absolutely unreal...how expensive it is to go out every weekend (or multiple times a week!!!). January - Fun! February - Fun!! March - FUN!!! April - Kind of went downhill. Did I still have fun? Sure, I guess I did. Now it's May. I remember back when I said "March 1st I have to settle down", then I said "When I get back from Milwaukee...time to settle down", Then it was "After bowling is over...time to settle down" - and now we're another month passed. Here we are in May, I have a roommate moving out, and bills piling up...and I can not believe the way I have been spending and "actin' a fool!" Interrupting thought - I actually like the show "George Lopez" - I think it's pretty funny. Anyway....I've had fun. I've met a LOT of new friends in the last few months. And I just need to realize that just because I don't go out one weekend...the world is not going to end, and my friends are not going to forget about me. Isn't that silly?!!? Last Saturday, I was exhausted!!!! But yet I managed to drink a jagbomb, do my makeup and head out. So yesterday (Sunday) I was very lazy in the afternoon. I was annoyed when I saw all my drunken texts to a friend of mine (but at least it's been a while since that has happened), I was annoyed at how tired I was, and I was really annoyed when I looked in my wallet! Then this morning....I realized....I was STILL annoyed. Tonight....yep....still annoyed. But....I think I'll be alright. People have said some things that have stuck in my head recently, my grandmother wants me to visit, I have to find a new roommate, and it just all comes together. So...another random thought to interrupt...Jon had never seen ET. Isn't that strange? So...back to my point. I might be strugglin' for 3-6 weeks....BUT it'll all be worth it. Things have to get worse before they get better, right? "Sigh". Wish me luck! If anyone wants to hang out with me at home this weekend...come on over!!! Gonna' be a hard habit to break!!! But I'll do it. As a blog I once wrote said 'Do whatcha gotta' do'. Maybe have to listen to myself for a while. (I don't know why the clam...just seemed to fit)
And....was listening to Widespread Panic "Til the Medicine Takes"
Oh yeah...Sublime
Apr 29, 2008
Oh yeah....Sublime....
Current mood:satisfied
Oh yeah...today was my 4 year anniversary with AMSOIL. Still love it. People wonder how I remember the date...well my Sublime fans "April 29th, 1992" - great song...that is how I remember it...and it is..."sublime"
Oh yeah....Sublime....
Current mood:satisfied
Oh yeah...today was my 4 year anniversary with AMSOIL. Still love it. People wonder how I remember the date...well my Sublime fans "April 29th, 1992" - great song...that is how I remember it...and it is..."sublime"
Wow
Apr 29, 2008
Wow
Current mood:surprised
I didn't really know what to title this blog. My grandma called me tonight. My grandma as in my biological dad's mom!!! I haven't heard from her in....well it has to be 8 years, since I met them in Cali in 2000. It was quite....the emotional swirl before I called her back.
Just today I was at work, and I was thinking exactly this thought: I'm doing well. I made it through (or still working at it) Jon's death...and I survived it and I'm doing well. But if I lost someone else right now, I truly don't think I could handle it. That took such a physical/emotional toll on me that I think...I just couldn't do it again. I'm a very positive person. I'm a very strong person, and I've only gotten stronger...but I seriously think if I lost someone else right now...I think I would go crazy, honestly...I think that I would just shut down completely - it's going to take years to be ready for something like this (though you're never ready) again.
So when I got her voicemail, I immediately paniced. I thought "this is it, she's going to tell me that my biological dad died". I know that's horribly negative...but that was honestly my first thought. So I dried my eyes, grabbed a cigarette, went outside and called her. Everything was fine. She did lose her husband last summer, and honestly I was happy to hear she had him that long. He wasn't doing so well when I saw him 8 years ago. She's been trying desperately to find me. :(
I haven't given my biological dad my phone number. I don't know if I can. Maybe someday. For some of you, very few...you know what an ongoing struggle this has been in my life. My poor grandmother, she's been searching the entire internet for me. She even has tried calling my work (how she got that number I have no idea) but she always called after business hours I guess. Finally she somehow got ahold of my mom (who also has a newer phone number) and found out how to reach me.
I'm so glad she called. Even after the years of silence between her son and I....she called me often growing up. I felt bad about not contacting her for so long the last several years, but with all that had been going on - on that side of the family, and in my own life...I just didn't know how. I'm so glad she called. she's just so sweet. The happiness in her voice when she heard my voice...was a gift in itself. She is living in a VERY small town in Utah now. I'd like to go visit her. I think I need to. I need to. This is one of those things that I know - I KNOW I have to do it, she's getting older...must be in her 90s by now?! Or at least very late 80s.
A part of me is truly sorry that I haven't contacted her. However I did try to send a card...but it was the wrong address. But...a bigger part of me is happy that we talked, and I hope I can see her sometime soon. Maybe this was my wakeup call.
Wakeup call...hmmmm...I've been saying that a lot with my wild ways the last few months, thinking "this must be my wakeup call to straighten up" - and then I land right back in the same boat....but maybe this is really it. I need to save up, get my feet back firmly on the ground...and go see her. This has to happen. Anyone want to come to Utah with me? :) Not soon....but hopefully....hopefully soon enough.
Wow
Current mood:surprised
I didn't really know what to title this blog. My grandma called me tonight. My grandma as in my biological dad's mom!!! I haven't heard from her in....well it has to be 8 years, since I met them in Cali in 2000. It was quite....the emotional swirl before I called her back.
Just today I was at work, and I was thinking exactly this thought: I'm doing well. I made it through (or still working at it) Jon's death...and I survived it and I'm doing well. But if I lost someone else right now, I truly don't think I could handle it. That took such a physical/emotional toll on me that I think...I just couldn't do it again. I'm a very positive person. I'm a very strong person, and I've only gotten stronger...but I seriously think if I lost someone else right now...I think I would go crazy, honestly...I think that I would just shut down completely - it's going to take years to be ready for something like this (though you're never ready) again.
So when I got her voicemail, I immediately paniced. I thought "this is it, she's going to tell me that my biological dad died". I know that's horribly negative...but that was honestly my first thought. So I dried my eyes, grabbed a cigarette, went outside and called her. Everything was fine. She did lose her husband last summer, and honestly I was happy to hear she had him that long. He wasn't doing so well when I saw him 8 years ago. She's been trying desperately to find me. :(
I haven't given my biological dad my phone number. I don't know if I can. Maybe someday. For some of you, very few...you know what an ongoing struggle this has been in my life. My poor grandmother, she's been searching the entire internet for me. She even has tried calling my work (how she got that number I have no idea) but she always called after business hours I guess. Finally she somehow got ahold of my mom (who also has a newer phone number) and found out how to reach me.
I'm so glad she called. Even after the years of silence between her son and I....she called me often growing up. I felt bad about not contacting her for so long the last several years, but with all that had been going on - on that side of the family, and in my own life...I just didn't know how. I'm so glad she called. she's just so sweet. The happiness in her voice when she heard my voice...was a gift in itself. She is living in a VERY small town in Utah now. I'd like to go visit her. I think I need to. I need to. This is one of those things that I know - I KNOW I have to do it, she's getting older...must be in her 90s by now?! Or at least very late 80s.
A part of me is truly sorry that I haven't contacted her. However I did try to send a card...but it was the wrong address. But...a bigger part of me is happy that we talked, and I hope I can see her sometime soon. Maybe this was my wakeup call.
Wakeup call...hmmmm...I've been saying that a lot with my wild ways the last few months, thinking "this must be my wakeup call to straighten up" - and then I land right back in the same boat....but maybe this is really it. I need to save up, get my feet back firmly on the ground...and go see her. This has to happen. Anyone want to come to Utah with me? :) Not soon....but hopefully....hopefully soon enough.
We....are.....funny Part IV
Apr 23, 2008
We....are.....funny (part IV)
Current mood:happy
Here we go again...
51. "I've been getting the hiccups every day at my house, it's a lack of oxygen man" – Maranda
52. "I prefer the flip side" - me
53. [Whistling] – Me
Mike, Steve, Jim "What tune is that?"
Me "I don't know...but it's definitely familiar"
Alex (from behind a wall) "It's Hogan's Heroes"
Me "Is it...or am I doing some sort of variation"
Alex (in valley girl tone) "Well you're singing it in F Flat when it's supposed to be in G!"
54. "Sometimes when I go home on my lunch, I need to listen to some upbeat "where's my money" music before coming back to work" – Maranda (who works in accounting)
55. Julia "Is she okay?"
Me "Yeah, bumped her face on the steering wheel"
Julia "awwww" (sorrowful whine/sigh) "Do we like her?"
56. "Me and my mom are gonna' go find a corner" – Jamie
57. "You have to hit it hard because it sticks at the top of the towel rack" – Sheila....
58.Me "I put it down upstairs…down upstairs….that's like saying 'What's up downstairs?'" (hmmm this one was funnier when it happened…again…maybe you had to be there)
59.Me "What's that noise?"
Mike G "The fan"
Me "Whoooooo" – making the same noise as the fan
Mike G "Here is your completion certificate for how to make a noise like a fan"
Me "My badge will say "I'm your number 1 fan….it will be FANtastic"
60. Me "So I stood there with my arms out and I was watching the hail fall around us, but it wasn't hitting me…it's like I was Jesus"
Mike G "All Hail the Lord of the Weather"
61. Jamie "I was always really good at English but don't give me no math"
62. Mandy "It was kind of weird…we just all took naps all day. When we woke up they were gone, then when they got back we took a nap, then when we woke up, they took a nap…kind of felt like the Sims"
63. Me "What happened? Oh I guess nothing did"
64. Mandy "One time Ken was mowing the lawn and some girl flashed him. So he came in not even phased and said "some girl just flashed me" – and went back out to mow the lawn. Then he came running in really excited screaming "I just found raspberries!"
65. Todd "Check out the boots on that guy" (really poorly dressed guy with cowboy boots over his jeans)
Aaron: "Holy shit…look at how well they go with the jeans"
Todd "Are those stonewash blues!?"
Aaron "Looks like that dude got kicked in the face by Levi Strauss!"
66. Me "That's a stoner giggle; that's a stiggle"
67. Me "I just texted my mom. I bet she calls me tomorrow to ask how to read the text message"
(drunk) Steve" Just tell her 'chickens'"
Sara and I "...WHAT???"
(drunk) Steve (at bar) "yeah can I get a round of chickens for the ladies and a beer?"
Me "Well I'd prefer a round of cocks"
Sara (laughs) "Yes, Steve we'd prefer a round of cocks"
(drunk)Steve "I bet you do....I bet you do..."
Till next time....but hold on...has anyone noticed that the blog section with "what are you listening to?" is gone now. For anyone who cares...I was listening to Habib Koite and Bamada and Now I'm listening to a Death Cab for Cutie song...that started out like the "5 dollar footlong" subway commercial...hahaha
We....are.....funny (part IV)
Current mood:happy
Here we go again...
51. "I've been getting the hiccups every day at my house, it's a lack of oxygen man" – Maranda
52. "I prefer the flip side" - me
53. [Whistling] – Me
Mike, Steve, Jim "What tune is that?"
Me "I don't know...but it's definitely familiar"
Alex (from behind a wall) "It's Hogan's Heroes"
Me "Is it...or am I doing some sort of variation"
Alex (in valley girl tone) "Well you're singing it in F Flat when it's supposed to be in G!"
54. "Sometimes when I go home on my lunch, I need to listen to some upbeat "where's my money" music before coming back to work" – Maranda (who works in accounting)
55. Julia "Is she okay?"
Me "Yeah, bumped her face on the steering wheel"
Julia "awwww" (sorrowful whine/sigh) "Do we like her?"
56. "Me and my mom are gonna' go find a corner" – Jamie
57. "You have to hit it hard because it sticks at the top of the towel rack" – Sheila....
58.Me "I put it down upstairs…down upstairs….that's like saying 'What's up downstairs?'" (hmmm this one was funnier when it happened…again…maybe you had to be there)
59.Me "What's that noise?"
Mike G "The fan"
Me "Whoooooo" – making the same noise as the fan
Mike G "Here is your completion certificate for how to make a noise like a fan"
Me "My badge will say "I'm your number 1 fan….it will be FANtastic"
60. Me "So I stood there with my arms out and I was watching the hail fall around us, but it wasn't hitting me…it's like I was Jesus"
Mike G "All Hail the Lord of the Weather"
61. Jamie "I was always really good at English but don't give me no math"
62. Mandy "It was kind of weird…we just all took naps all day. When we woke up they were gone, then when they got back we took a nap, then when we woke up, they took a nap…kind of felt like the Sims"
63. Me "What happened? Oh I guess nothing did"
64. Mandy "One time Ken was mowing the lawn and some girl flashed him. So he came in not even phased and said "some girl just flashed me" – and went back out to mow the lawn. Then he came running in really excited screaming "I just found raspberries!"
65. Todd "Check out the boots on that guy" (really poorly dressed guy with cowboy boots over his jeans)
Aaron: "Holy shit…look at how well they go with the jeans"
Todd "Are those stonewash blues!?"
Aaron "Looks like that dude got kicked in the face by Levi Strauss!"
66. Me "That's a stoner giggle; that's a stiggle"
67. Me "I just texted my mom. I bet she calls me tomorrow to ask how to read the text message"
(drunk) Steve" Just tell her 'chickens'"
Sara and I "...WHAT???"
(drunk) Steve (at bar) "yeah can I get a round of chickens for the ladies and a beer?"
Me "Well I'd prefer a round of cocks"
Sara (laughs) "Yes, Steve we'd prefer a round of cocks"
(drunk)Steve "I bet you do....I bet you do..."
Till next time....but hold on...has anyone noticed that the blog section with "what are you listening to?" is gone now. For anyone who cares...I was listening to Habib Koite and Bamada and Now I'm listening to a Death Cab for Cutie song...that started out like the "5 dollar footlong" subway commercial...hahaha
"My Nature Just Changes" - Jimi Hendrix
Apr 13, 2008
"My nature just changes" - Jimi Hendrix
Current mood:pissed off
Warning...this blog is going to contain a lot of negativity.
I am unhappy with everything! But...I'm not unhappy. Does that make sense? I feel okay, but I'm very disappointed with a lot of things in my life right now. I know this to be true, as ALL of my fingernails are broken off ass of today - chipped them all away.
First - I am in a phase that I need to snap the hell out of. I don't think I'm going to even call this an identity crisis anymore...it's just - I was on this whole "finding myself" journey after all this shit last year...and now I'm finding myself in situations that are soooo out of my element and beyond my senses. I've been closing the bar down at least 2 nights a week for the last THREE months!! Now...that wouldn't be that big of a deal...but I need to get my freaking priorities straight! It's not affecting my work or anything like that - but I need to save the money for things that are "important" like replacing a broken window, finishing the base moulding in the house, get my freaking credit cards down...AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not only this, but I can't even trust myself anymore! Pisses me off! I say I'm not going to go out...but then I do. I say I'm only going to spend X amount...and that turns into a lie. I say I'm not going to talk to so and so, until shit blows over...and that's a lie (although it turned out fine, it was still against my good judgement!). AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! These are literal screams. But...you know - I'm so pissed with myself now that it has to change. I don't need to go out all the time. I really don't - it's stupid.
Second - my hair. I don't know what my deal is. Yesterday...I was bored...so I said "I'm gonna make a hair appt and cut off all my hair" - First of all...oh it's not even important. So I go and I chop it all off so it's as short as it was a couple years ago (in some pictures). I like it - I knew I would and it looks good....but then I got sad because I felt like it made me look too "grown up" again. What is my deal? What is it?!?!? Why do I feel the need to be this young hippy party punk again? Seriously? WHY?!!? So then I thought...well maybe I'll throw a couple short red extentions on the underneath side of my hair...but that's for another day. It really does feel like a midlife crisis at 26....which makes no sense. Don't get me wrong, I really like the new cut....but again, it's like I'm tired of the --I don't know - I'm tired of something. I feel like I'm always looking for excitement! I'm looking for something anyway...but I think I just need to settle the hell down. And I'm going to.
NOW...the third thing....this roommate of mine. Not Tom, he's great...the other one. I've just had it. The worst part is - is that the last few days we actually have been getting along...but I think it's because she's sucking up. I don't even know where to begin...so I'm going to bitch A LOT here. She just got fired (in the last few weeks) from her SECOND job that she has had since moving to Duluth (in September only!!!) So of course I'm stressing a little about 'is she going to be able to pay May rent?' (all the more reason I need to settle the hell down). Sooo....here's the annoying shit that I just can't stand...and I normally don't do things like this but I'm just going to lose it soon and...well...writing will help my head to not explode. She's like a 14 year old little brat. She makes me feel like I have a god damn kid!!!! She always puts her glass (even my wine glasses) DIRECTLY on the friggin' couch. So I said "That's making me really nervous" so she shoots me a look, and puts it on the coffee table. I go upstairs and when I come back down, here glass is on a coaster...on the friggin' couch!!! WHO DOES THAT?!!?!? She (AT THIS VERY MOMENT) just asked me for the 6th time today if I want to try her salad dressing and when I say no she flippin' whines "why don't you want to try it?" I JUST DON'T!!!!!!!! She always has her shoes on the couch - on my couch. She has NEVER taken out the garbage - but has no problem throwing garbage on the floor NEXT to the garbage when it's full. Her cat is a bitch. She knocks peoples shit out of the shower and then just leaves it on the floor...oh that reminds me she have 4 empty shampoo/conditioner bottles ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR!!!!! WHO DOES THIS SHIT?!!?!?!? The showerhead is always on the floor of the shower after she uses it. She leaves all the lights on. She has messed with my thermostadt numerous times - one time I came home late at night and I felt cold...so I checked and she had the heat completely OFF!!!!! Today...I took Budha for a walk and when I was on my way back, she was walking. So I met her on the street and she said she was on her way to Kmart to find something "fun to do". So I get to the house, where she had left both the front and the back door unlocked. I had my keys. I also had my phone so she could have called - but no...instead...she just leaves the house with everything wide open. I bust my ass for the next few hours trying to clean up. She comes home (during this time) which this box...that is decorated like those fuzzy posters...and a pack of markers. In the box are stickers and glitter. She sits there and colors this thing...and uses the glitter (ON THE COUCH!) while I'm trying to clean up the house, and taking out all the freaking garbage and she just sad there like a freaking kid. My head is hurting. There is so much more I can say, but I will end with this...YESTERDAY, I decided to go onto roommates.com just to see what kind of people are looking. Who do I see? My roommate. At first I didn't think much of it, until I saw that it said she has been active within a few days, THEN I see her "anticipated move in date" is 3/30/08. Obviously she hasn't found a place yet....but was she ever going to tell me?!!? And it's kind of a blessing in disguise, but it's rather uncomfortable now because she's been "extra nice" - and still not doing a damn thing around here so it doesn't matter. SOOOO....today I put an ad up, looking for a roommate for 7/1. Granted that's a way in the future, but I had to make it for the future so I could have time to really think about how to go about this. Obviously today was not the day to give her the boot considering my current "state". If she's looking - I have to look myself to cover my own ass, right? Soo...by May 1 I think I'm going to have to tell her she's out by 7/1 if not before.
I don't really expect anyone to have read this because....it's a lot of bitching - and I normally don't do this...but I have been freaking out today....I even had to take an hour drive by myself just to "reflect". Alright - this blog is ending now. Wish my luck getting my shit together...in my head and in my home.
"My nature just changes" - Jimi Hendrix
Current mood:pissed off
Warning...this blog is going to contain a lot of negativity.
I am unhappy with everything! But...I'm not unhappy. Does that make sense? I feel okay, but I'm very disappointed with a lot of things in my life right now. I know this to be true, as ALL of my fingernails are broken off ass of today - chipped them all away.
First - I am in a phase that I need to snap the hell out of. I don't think I'm going to even call this an identity crisis anymore...it's just - I was on this whole "finding myself" journey after all this shit last year...and now I'm finding myself in situations that are soooo out of my element and beyond my senses. I've been closing the bar down at least 2 nights a week for the last THREE months!! Now...that wouldn't be that big of a deal...but I need to get my freaking priorities straight! It's not affecting my work or anything like that - but I need to save the money for things that are "important" like replacing a broken window, finishing the base moulding in the house, get my freaking credit cards down...AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not only this, but I can't even trust myself anymore! Pisses me off! I say I'm not going to go out...but then I do. I say I'm only going to spend X amount...and that turns into a lie. I say I'm not going to talk to so and so, until shit blows over...and that's a lie (although it turned out fine, it was still against my good judgement!). AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! These are literal screams. But...you know - I'm so pissed with myself now that it has to change. I don't need to go out all the time. I really don't - it's stupid.
Second - my hair. I don't know what my deal is. Yesterday...I was bored...so I said "I'm gonna make a hair appt and cut off all my hair" - First of all...oh it's not even important. So I go and I chop it all off so it's as short as it was a couple years ago (in some pictures). I like it - I knew I would and it looks good....but then I got sad because I felt like it made me look too "grown up" again. What is my deal? What is it?!?!? Why do I feel the need to be this young hippy party punk again? Seriously? WHY?!!? So then I thought...well maybe I'll throw a couple short red extentions on the underneath side of my hair...but that's for another day. It really does feel like a midlife crisis at 26....which makes no sense. Don't get me wrong, I really like the new cut....but again, it's like I'm tired of the --I don't know - I'm tired of something. I feel like I'm always looking for excitement! I'm looking for something anyway...but I think I just need to settle the hell down. And I'm going to.
NOW...the third thing....this roommate of mine. Not Tom, he's great...the other one. I've just had it. The worst part is - is that the last few days we actually have been getting along...but I think it's because she's sucking up. I don't even know where to begin...so I'm going to bitch A LOT here. She just got fired (in the last few weeks) from her SECOND job that she has had since moving to Duluth (in September only!!!) So of course I'm stressing a little about 'is she going to be able to pay May rent?' (all the more reason I need to settle the hell down). Sooo....here's the annoying shit that I just can't stand...and I normally don't do things like this but I'm just going to lose it soon and...well...writing will help my head to not explode. She's like a 14 year old little brat. She makes me feel like I have a god damn kid!!!! She always puts her glass (even my wine glasses) DIRECTLY on the friggin' couch. So I said "That's making me really nervous" so she shoots me a look, and puts it on the coffee table. I go upstairs and when I come back down, here glass is on a coaster...on the friggin' couch!!! WHO DOES THAT?!!?!? She (AT THIS VERY MOMENT) just asked me for the 6th time today if I want to try her salad dressing and when I say no she flippin' whines "why don't you want to try it?" I JUST DON'T!!!!!!!! She always has her shoes on the couch - on my couch. She has NEVER taken out the garbage - but has no problem throwing garbage on the floor NEXT to the garbage when it's full. Her cat is a bitch. She knocks peoples shit out of the shower and then just leaves it on the floor...oh that reminds me she have 4 empty shampoo/conditioner bottles ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR!!!!! WHO DOES THIS SHIT?!!?!?!? The showerhead is always on the floor of the shower after she uses it. She leaves all the lights on. She has messed with my thermostadt numerous times - one time I came home late at night and I felt cold...so I checked and she had the heat completely OFF!!!!! Today...I took Budha for a walk and when I was on my way back, she was walking. So I met her on the street and she said she was on her way to Kmart to find something "fun to do". So I get to the house, where she had left both the front and the back door unlocked. I had my keys. I also had my phone so she could have called - but no...instead...she just leaves the house with everything wide open. I bust my ass for the next few hours trying to clean up. She comes home (during this time) which this box...that is decorated like those fuzzy posters...and a pack of markers. In the box are stickers and glitter. She sits there and colors this thing...and uses the glitter (ON THE COUCH!) while I'm trying to clean up the house, and taking out all the freaking garbage and she just sad there like a freaking kid. My head is hurting. There is so much more I can say, but I will end with this...YESTERDAY, I decided to go onto roommates.com just to see what kind of people are looking. Who do I see? My roommate. At first I didn't think much of it, until I saw that it said she has been active within a few days, THEN I see her "anticipated move in date" is 3/30/08. Obviously she hasn't found a place yet....but was she ever going to tell me?!!? And it's kind of a blessing in disguise, but it's rather uncomfortable now because she's been "extra nice" - and still not doing a damn thing around here so it doesn't matter. SOOOO....today I put an ad up, looking for a roommate for 7/1. Granted that's a way in the future, but I had to make it for the future so I could have time to really think about how to go about this. Obviously today was not the day to give her the boot considering my current "state". If she's looking - I have to look myself to cover my own ass, right? Soo...by May 1 I think I'm going to have to tell her she's out by 7/1 if not before.
I don't really expect anyone to have read this because....it's a lot of bitching - and I normally don't do this...but I have been freaking out today....I even had to take an hour drive by myself just to "reflect". Alright - this blog is ending now. Wish my luck getting my shit together...in my head and in my home.
At Least I Have Power
Apr 11, 2008
At least I have power....
Current mood:bored
Blizzard Schmizzard...I'm so bored...It's actually getting a lot better outside...but I am still bored. My work is closed...in fact...most of Superior is out of power, including our corporate office which in turn is causing problems for our DCs in other states and Canada. But...unfortunately nothing we can do there. SO....by 10:30 am I was already going stir crazy so I dug myself out which really wasn't bad at all considering I was parked close to the corner so I just needed a couple good pushes to get out. I went to Holiday and bought a bunch of junk food...because that's what you're supposed to do during bad weather. Then I went to the store and got my pup some dog food. Then I tried to go to the bank, but they were closed...and I couldn't even get in the building to use the ATM! Then I tried to go to the liquor store, but they were closed - as was the video store in the area. Hmph. So then I came back. Now what? But as the subject says, it could be worse....poor Jamie and Maranda (and other Superior folk) have no power...and are going to start getting cold soon. :( Not to mention I think they've been out for about 4 hours so hopefully their food doesn't spoil. So I can't bitch that much...but really I am only typing up this blog just to keep myself busy. This is stupid....what I should be doing is CLEANING!!!!! I have a whole day to do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay...by 1:00 I am going to get productive!! My bedroom WILL be clean! Okay ...might be by 2:00. No no - by 1:00. If I stay lazy, then I'll just feel bad about it later so...okay. La Di Freaking Da. Oooohhhh - I will say that my roommate and I went down to the pier yeseterday after work and watched the waves crashing and they were at 10 feet at the time....it was INSANE!!!! My face was totally windburned after only 10 minutes...probably not even 10 minutes!!!! It was worth it though - for this "frozen tropical storm". Cool to see. Alright...I have 11 minutes.
At least I have power....
Current mood:bored
Blizzard Schmizzard...I'm so bored...It's actually getting a lot better outside...but I am still bored. My work is closed...in fact...most of Superior is out of power, including our corporate office which in turn is causing problems for our DCs in other states and Canada. But...unfortunately nothing we can do there. SO....by 10:30 am I was already going stir crazy so I dug myself out which really wasn't bad at all considering I was parked close to the corner so I just needed a couple good pushes to get out. I went to Holiday and bought a bunch of junk food...because that's what you're supposed to do during bad weather. Then I went to the store and got my pup some dog food. Then I tried to go to the bank, but they were closed...and I couldn't even get in the building to use the ATM! Then I tried to go to the liquor store, but they were closed - as was the video store in the area. Hmph. So then I came back. Now what? But as the subject says, it could be worse....poor Jamie and Maranda (and other Superior folk) have no power...and are going to start getting cold soon. :( Not to mention I think they've been out for about 4 hours so hopefully their food doesn't spoil. So I can't bitch that much...but really I am only typing up this blog just to keep myself busy. This is stupid....what I should be doing is CLEANING!!!!! I have a whole day to do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay...by 1:00 I am going to get productive!! My bedroom WILL be clean! Okay ...might be by 2:00. No no - by 1:00. If I stay lazy, then I'll just feel bad about it later so...okay. La Di Freaking Da. Oooohhhh - I will say that my roommate and I went down to the pier yeseterday after work and watched the waves crashing and they were at 10 feet at the time....it was INSANE!!!! My face was totally windburned after only 10 minutes...probably not even 10 minutes!!!! It was worth it though - for this "frozen tropical storm". Cool to see. Alright...I have 11 minutes.
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