Hello My Name is Carrie

Sep 25, 2006
Hello my name is Carrie
Current mood:contemplative

For any of you who watch Sex and the City - you'll understand the title.
It occurred to me a while back that dating is becoming....completely technilogical. People I never would guess would fall into the plague of online dating...have. And it doesn't always turn out bad. But what happened to the days of bumping into someone, being asked out (or asking out) and learning about that person that way? For a long time I looked down on the online dating. This is why. I did it - one time and one time only. When I was 19 (maybe only 18) and I "talked" to this guy for hours a day, and then....I sent him my picture. Never heard from him again. It hit me that I let someone whom I had never even met...hurt my feelings more than any "real" person ever had. Granted I was very young and naive as well. So now I am seeing all of these people doing the online dating and so I finally did it - no I haven't started dating the cybers, but I went in and checked out how it all works now - these online dating services. First they have you fill out a HUGE questionaire about yourself. Like things such as what is REALLY important in your date, how they should look, how much money they make, their education, their hair color, etc....At first I thought - wow that's great! They really make matches of others compatible with you. Then I realized....have we reached a day in age where our standards are all set too high? Should I exclude someone based on their religious belief, or income? Should they exclude me because I have a few extra pounds, and dye my hair? There was a time when you got to know a person, and often would find whether another date was in the future long before you ever knew certain things about the other. Now we are basically filling out applications for our mates. I used to think of the people (like my former online friend) as closed minded...and yes that may still be the case. But looking at what online dating has become...yes I do agree it can be a very good thing - but I thought this was for the open minded...and clearly with the checklist it's not. i.e. I looked at one profile and saw that this guy lived with his parents. Right away I thought - No way. Another one didn't go to college. No way. Then my mind opened to think - maybe there's a reason Mr A lives with his parents. Why should I judge Mr B - I've been going to school 7 years. I'm not 100% against online dating in your own community. Talk to the person once, make a date and just do it. Don't take your Minnesota self, find a guy in Tampa, talk on the phone for 3 months and move out there - this is psycho. If you can't meet right away - you'll only wrap yourself in a falsehood. My point is this....have we, today, set our standards for our date, higher than how we perceive ourselves?